“I Ain’t Exploiting Little People, I’m Making ‘Em Feel Sexy, Y’all!”

February 28, 2014 / Posted by:

That dancer is making the same “Meh – it’s a living” face that every creature on the Flintstones makes when Fred forces them to do some degrading shit, like opening his beer with their teeth. But I’m clearly reading her a-check-is-a-check facial expression wrong, because according to an interview given to Ronan Farrow and MSNBC (via Us WeeklyMiley Cyrus thinks twerking her chicken-fried coochums all over their heads makes them feel empowered:

As for the claims that she’s exploiting little people? Cyrus said she doesn’t worry about that. “No, because we’re making them feel sexual and beautiful,” she explained. Citing one of her female little person dancers, the “Wrecking Ball singer explained: “We’re all about lifting her up and making her feel so sexy all the time, and having her dance — she’s actually an awesome dancer.”

Farrow also interviewed one of Cyrus’ former backup dancers, Hollis Jane, who recently spoke out about feeling “degraded” while wearing a bear costume at the singer’s 2013 VMAs performance. Jane said she’s not blaming Cyrus, but explained: “Little people need to stop being seen, in my opinion, in the media as jokes.”

Praise be to Miley Cyrus for discovering little people’s sexuality! Before Miley, little people were forced to live like asexual starfish, and intercourse was limited to procreation. But now, thanks to Saint Miley of the Little People, they can do sexy stuff with their bodies! Quick, somebody tell Dr. Jennifer Arnold and Amy Roloff they’re no longer imprisoned by their mom jeans and polo shirts; go put on an uncomfortable vinyl catsuit and fake hump a plastic hot dog. You’re free now!!

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