Don’t Hate Bruce Jenner Because He’s Beautiful

Jared Leto, Kylie Jenner, Khlozilla and every other trick with ombre hair should know that certain CVSes are open 24 hours, so they should drive to one immediately, buy the first box of hair pant they see and dye the ombre out of their mops, because nobody has or will ever bring the ombre like Bruce Jenner brings the ombre. While his hairline looked like a cemetery of dead plugs and his eyes shot potent bitch glares at the lens of the paparazzi, the only trick in L.A. who brings a picture of latter days Michael Jackson to his stylist and says, “Give me that, bitch,” shot scenes from Keeping Up with the Kartrashians in L.A. today.

There’s been so much talk about whether or not Bruce Jenner is transitioning and I don’t know and it doesn’t really matter. The only thing I do know is that Bruce Jenner is transitioning from being a soulless whore who had his will to live sucked out of him by Pimp Mama Kris into a free Siegfried-like hot beauty who can bleach the ends of his hair if he wants to. So I say put another Bump-it in that lion mane, stick out those chichis and strut that ass, Bruce.