Freddy the Great Dane, who is possibly Britain’s biggest dog, and his human Claire Stoneman who may or may not hold the title for having Essex’s most exquisite brows. (Insert chloesimsthrowingabitchpleaseface.jpg here)
When Claire Stoneman of Leigh-On-Sea in Essex in Britain first got Freddy and his sister, he was just 5-weeks-old and was the runt of the litter so she didn’t think he would ever grow to the size of a Khloe Kardashian and she didn’t think she’d ever spend a piece of her day putting a garbage bag under his ass as he pushes out a mountain of shit that could break a porcelain toilet. (The only domesticated creature in Britain who pushes more shit out of a hole on his body is Gordon Ramsay.) Claire tells Barcroft Media (via The Daily Mail) that Freddy went through a giant growth spurt and quickly grew to the size of Marmaduke on DGH (Doggy Growth Hormones™). At 18 months old, Freddy weighs around 156lbs and when he stands on his hind legs, he’s 7’1″. Freddy is unofficially the biggest dog in Britain and if he keeps growing, he could snatch the Guinness World Record from Zeus who can stretch up to 7’4″ when he stands on his hind legs.
Claire feels the Hogan family chef’s pain, because every week Freddy gobbles down a Hogan family snack (read: 8 large cans of dog food, 12lbs of tripe, 12lbs minced chicken and 4 roast chickens). Claire spends up to $150 every week on Freddy’s food alone. Freddy’s food isn’t the only thing that is costing Claire hundreds of dollars. He’s destroyed several of her couches. Yes, Claire’s house probably smells worse than the inside of one of the Kardashian’s kennels and when Freddy takes a piss, she has to put on goggles and a rain poncho, but she wouldn’t trade him in for anything.
My dog is probably smaller than Freddy’s lipstick and I can barely handle his ass, so Claire is better than me. I mean, she lives with a horse dog, she handles Olsen-sized shits daily AND she still finds time to maintain her architecturally stunning eyebrows. Claire can do it all!