Afternoon Crumbs

The Texas T-Rex and ageless Amish vampire Jared Leto were in the UK for the premiere of Dallas Buyers Club, so that’s why the streets are covered with the bodies of teenage virgins who had the youth sucked out of them – Lainey Gossip

Brandi Glanville says that her duties as Eddie Cibrian’s wife were to have dinner ready every night and look hot on his arm. Well, if she really did serve him dinner every night, then one out of two ain’t bad – Celebitchy

Barney’s new campaign features 17 transgender models. But where is Carmen Carrera?!!!!! – Towleroad

If the whole “pop star” thing doesn’t work out, Pink should be a chiropractor – Drunken Stepfather

The trailer for that Blazing Saddles-like Seth MacFarlane movie is out and I laughed, I admit it – The Superficial

Foxy Knoxy found guilty again. Does this mean that the perfect Lifetime movie starring Hayden Pantyairs is going to get a sequel? – Jezebel

RiRi is complaining about wanting a bigger ass, but so sorry for her, Kanye is already taken – IDLYITW

Please tell me the Spice Channel is re-launching to air the Porn Iguana’s reality show – Reality Tea

This might be Vanessa Hudgens, but since we don’t see a face, it could very well be Steven Tyler too – Hollywood Tuna

Is that North West’s hair or did Kim Kardashian forget to shave her mustache? – ICYDK

I could laugh at Selena Gomez for hiding her face from the paps she probably called herself, but most of us would hide our face too if the world knew we fucked Justin Bieber – Popoholic

German hairless ass alert – (NSFWish) OMG Blog

Justin Bieber had the good shit and Xanax running through his veins the night of his Florida DUI arrest. I didn’t know that Xanax made chewable fruit-flavored pills – Just Jared

Mila Kunis is the face of Jim Beam, because nothing in life makes sense – The Berry

I do not appreciate Blake NotSoLively’s CoCo drag – Popsugar

And when Marky Mark gets slimed, SpongeBob’s gonna get a funky bunch punch to the dick – Videogum

Aw, Justin Bieber has graduated from the crib to a big boy bed – SOW