Michael Fassbender Is Doing Gerard Butler’s Ex-Piece

Michael Fassbender and Romanian model type Madalina Ghenea were papped holding hands in Milan yesterday, and even though it doesn’t look like she’s squat walking, it’s obvious that she’s been on that huge peen. Madalina used to fuck with Gerard Butler and Leonardo DiCaprio, so she’s totally a fame fucker who’s getting that B-to-A-list dick (And since she fucked with Gerard Butler she probably got something else, but topical ointment, a dozen Hazmat baths and a few wart removal sessions should clear that up.)

E! News says that Assbender and Madalina have also been seen together in Romania where he’s shooting a movie. They’ve probably been doing it for at least a couple of months, because they were photographed leaving a 7-Eleven-type place in New Zealand in November and they supposedly spent New Year’s Eve together in Romania. Over a week ago, she threw up a picture on Facebook of a dude who could be Assbender putting his mouth near her cheek.

And Lainey Gossip says that a witness told Le Vipere that Assbender went to a gynecologist’s appointment with Madalina and she looked upset. May the knocked up rumors begin! But what I think happened is that right after her gyno went in to look at Madalina’s cooch to make sure everything she caught from The Butler has cleared up, her doctor’s eyes widened and he or she wondered why her chocha was so wide. Did an anaconda wearing a puffy jacket slither up there without her knowing it? Right after the gyno said that, Michael Fassbender poked his head into the room and winked at the doctor. The doctor let out an, “aaaaaaah,” and suddenly it made sense.. That’s probably what happened.