Afternoon Crumbs
Chris Martin and Goopy Paltrow sat next to each other at the Golden Globes and I’m wondering why the news didn’t report about all the dozens of people who had to be treated for hypothermia from being exposed to the frosty cunt chill between them? – Lainey Gossip
Something I haven’t noticed before: Benadryl Cumsinbatch’s eyebrows are shaped like the profile of a feet-less ferret – Celebitchy
Evander Holyfield dribbles out an incoherent non-apology for dribbling out an incoherent anti-gay rant – Towleroad
Sending Kim and Kuntye Kardashian into space is a quick way for all the lifeforms on other planets to declare war on us – Reality Tea
That’s not a flash, that’s the Eye of Sauron – The Superficial
How to turn your boring old pick-up truck pool into a water ride – Drunken Stepfather
Sofia Vergara’s chichis are magnificent, but that thirsty, over-processed, malnourished hair needs an IV drip full of Pedialyte – Hollywood Tuna
Clothes: These random everyday panty creamers are wearing too many – The Berry
Vicodin dreams do come true! Paula Abdul is going to be on the upcoming season of RuPaul’s Drag Race – Jezebel
Tonya Harding just passed her hit man business card to Mirai Nagasu – Popsugar
Not pictured: the oxygen mask that Kristen Stewart makes the paps wear so she won’t have to breath in the same air as them – Popoholic
Kate Beckinsale was at the Golden Globes because Phoebe Price’s seat filling services were needed at another event – IDLYITW
This will make sense when I tell you that Debbie Downer was E!’s Fun Fact writer – OMG Blog
Michael Douglas is Ant-Man, whatever that means – Pajiba
Robin Wright and Ben Foster almost look the same age here, so either she’s sucking the youth of him or she’s glowing from getting some dick that isn’t attached to Sean Penn – ICYDK
Queen Jacqueline Bisset blames her hungry stomach, and not Xanax, for why she gave the speech of all speeches – HuffPo
Glee is staying in NYC for the rest of the season – Just Jared
Shakira and RiRi did a duet and surprisingly enough it doesn’t totally sound like two goats having painful ass sex – Popbytes
Pic is so blurry that it could be Sandy Duncan sucking on Chaz Bono’s newly skinny face for all we know – I’m Not Obsessed