“I’ll Take Straight Thuggin’ For $1000, Alex”

January 7, 2014 / Posted by:

One of the categories on Monday night’s episode of Jeopardy was called It’s A Rap and all the questions-phrased-as-answers were song lyrics that Alex Trebek was forced to – quote unquote – rap. And I say forced, because he sounded like he had a gun held to his head; there was about as much rhythmic flow as a prisoner of war during the filming of a hostage video. I think the highlights are definitely towards the end, when Alex Trebek tries his hand at Dr. Dre’s Nuthin but a G Thang (he pronounces nuthin’ as nuttin’, which could only be made funnier if he pronounced it nutting, but that’s a completely different song all together) and when he raps the lyrics to Public Enemy’s Timebomb and drops the R from car. Wait a second, is that Alex Trebek or Chuck D?? I can barely tell.

I really hope this isn’t the last we hear of Alex Trebek mechanically ‘rapping’ on Jeopardy; Notorious BIG and Dr. Dre were just the tip of the iceberg. If you want to really see some sky-high ratings, somewhere around sweeps week throw in another rap category that includes lyrics by Easy E, Khia, and Lil Kim. Or at the very least, Eminem’s verse on Numb. I think we’d all really like to hear him try: “I’m motioning you to pull over you boo/I’m the siren that you hear/I’m the butt police, and I’m looking at your rear, rear, rear”.

Wait a second…the category was called It’s A Rap? ‘It’s A Rap’ also happens to be the name of Robert Goulet’s rap album in the Will Ferrell SNL sketch of the same name (actually, the full title is The Coconut Bangers’ Ball: It’s A Rap). And Will Ferrell also used to play Alex Trebek in the SNL Celebrity Jeopardy sketches. FULL CIRCLE. Wow, I used to think those Beyonce-Illuminati conspiracy theorists were crazy, but now I’m not so sure. For more information, visit my blog http://LorneMichaelsIlluminati.com_EndTimes/It_Starts_With_Pat

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