Keri Russell And Her Husband Broke Up

People says that after 7 years of being married to each other, Keri Russell and her husband Shane Deary decided they don’t want to be married to each other anymore. Somewhere, my tia who was seriously into Felicity and felt personally attacked when Keri took a Flowbee to her luscious mane of curls is saying, “Good, that’s what that pendeja gets for cutting her hair a million years ago.” Keri’s rep told People that they’ve been broken up for a few months:

“They have been separated since early summer. The separation is amicable and their focus is on their children.”

Keri and Shane have a 6-year-old son named River and an almost 2-year-old daughter named Willa.

Early yesterday morning, the police showed up to Keri’s townhouse in Brooklyn Heights after she reported that someone broke in. Keri was asleep in a bedroom in the basement when she heard some shit going on in her living room upstairs. Keri obviously doesn’t subscribe to my way of thinking (when you hear shit, play dead or run the other way), because she went upstairs to investigate. She found the front door wide open and a necklace, a laptop and a bag were missing. The cops later caught the two thieves and Keri got her stuff back.

When I read about Keri breaking up with her husband, the first thing I thought about was the break-in. Are we sure the cops got the right two dudes? Are we sure Keri’s estranged husband didn’t break in to mess with shit and/or steal important documents from the office? Get on this, Maureen Maher! Yes, I watch way too much 48 Hours.