BREAKING: Miley Cyrus Dyed Her Brows Back

November 23, 2013 / Posted by:

I guess Miley Cyrus got tired of bitches spraying her with Critter Ridder lizard repellent and parents grabbing their children and running away from her cave creature-looking ass, because she took a Sharpie to her yeast infection brows. To celebrate the fact that she can now get legally drunk on Shasta Cola and Thunderbird at the bar with her paw paw, Miley dropped some RIT on her eyebrow situation and tweeted the finished product. Girl looks like a butcher Justin Bieber. She went from looking a terrifying mutant varmint that was born in Wes Craven’s mind to looking like a late 90s-era Florida skater boi who gets his beer and weed money by posing half naked for XY Magazine. I’m not sure which look is better.

In other Vyrus news, UsWeekly says that while she was out yesterday, somebody broke into her house and stole a bunch of her shit.

The incident occurred sometime in the afternoon, but there were no injuries and nobody was home at the time.

“She’s extremely upset and a lot of personal items were stolen,” a source tells Us. “She’s really shaken up about the whole thing.”

I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for this. Miley recently told Rolling Stone that Billy Ray uses a secret way to get from his house to her backyard and so I’m sure he just came over to borrow a box of Corn Pops and he kind of sort of might’ve gone through her dirty laundry and took some shit. A reasonable explanation! And sometimes when a celebwhore gets hacked or robbed, that’s foreshadowing for a sex tape or ESCANDALOSO pictures leaking on the internet. So brace your eyeballs and soul for the internet to be hit with something scandalous and shocking like a video of Miley keeping her smegma-covered lizard tongue in her mouth.

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