Zac Efron Broke His Jaw

November 12, 2013 / Posted by:

Goddamn, Zac! Did you forget the safe word again?  Write it on your hand next type. The dangers of rough trade…

E! News says that Zac’s glory hole trips have been put on a hold for a while, because his beautiful, exquisitely cut, bronzer-covered jaw has been wired shut after he broke it during a fall. Zac supposedly slipped on a puddle he didn’t see while walking into his house in L.A. and broke his jaw when he fell. I bet that as Zac fell, he screamed, “NOT THE FACE! JESUS! NOT THE FAAA-“ Boom. That bitch floor got the face.

Zac also has cut himself and needed stitches. Zac’s jaw was wired shut while it heals and he’s going to make a full recovery.

Zac was in rehab twice this year for a coke addiction, so we could joke that by “slipped in a puddle” they mean “owed his coke dealer cash and was forced to bite the curb” or whatever, but I know what’s really going on here. This is all just a ruse! Pretty Pretty Princess Zac didn’t fall on his jaw. Zac just wants to lose a little chunk and so he wired his jaw shut so he can’t put anything in his mouth hole. Zac better give credit where credit is due and thank Tami Roman for the idea.

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