Hot Slut Of The Day!
Philipp Kirkorov, Russian pop singer, Eastern Europe’s #1 consumer of gold lamé and Russia’s answer to Germany’s rhinestone-encrusted ebony and orange orchid Harald Glööckler.
The Miss Universe pageant happened in the anti-gay wonderland of Russia yesterday and after watching all 2 hours of that hairspray and Vaseline teeth mess, I crawled away with 4 moments embedded into my brain:
1. Miss Philippines became Miss ROBBED when she didn’t even make the top 3 and Miss Venezuela won for the ten billionth time.
2. Co-host Thomas Roberts won the title of Mister Dumb Fuck 2013 when he said something like, “Our thoughts are with the Philippines who are experiencing bad weather right now.” Yes, “bad weather” is exactly how I’d describe a typhoon that killed thousands.
3. My retinas curled and the edges burned off when the camera delivered a close-up of Donald Trump’s hairy, pus-filled orangutan hemorrhoid face.
4. PHILIPP KIRKOROV!
I’m surprised that as soon as those competing queens found out that Philipp Kirkorov was in the building, they didn’t pack up and quit that bitch, because they knew that the crown is rightfully his and they could never compete with his natural beauty and organic glamour. Philipp Kirkorov was one of the judges and as soon as his face appeared on the screen, my nipple slits spit out 14k liquid gold and my ass lips had a seizure. I Wiki’d his ass immediately and learned that he’s a Russian pop star, is a major mega cunt, has been known to sic his bodyguards on his rivals and made 2 children with his now ex-wife. Yes, Philipp’s gold-covered Bronzer stick dick has touched vagina before. Every now and again the universe has to flip the switch on you and show you that anything is possible.
Here’s what I learned from Philipp’s Wiki page:
In December 2012, he signed an open letter criticizing a St. Petersburg bill banning “homosexual propaganda”, along with pop stars like Dima Bilan and Valery Syutkin.
At a press conference he insulted (using Russian obscene language) Irina Aroyan, a female journalist who had asked why so many of his songs were covers of American and European hits.During the ensuing discussion, Kirkorov eventually told Aroyan that he was “tired of her pink blouse, her tits, and her microphone” and demanded that she leave the room immediately. When she eventually did, his bodyguards attacked her outside and destroyed her tape recorder.
There was also an incident where Kirkorov sent his guards to attack the Russian rock singer and DDT band frontman Yuri Shevchuk after their emotional skirmish in a public place (as known, Shevchuk keeps no guards of his own). The reason for the argument reportedly were Shevchuk’s offensive statements against Kirkorov, his wife, and his alleged lip-synching.
Another incident occurred on the December 4, 2010, when he allegedly slapped a female assistant because he was unhappy with the lighting at a concert venue. The woman, later identified as Marina Yablokova, threatened to sue Kirkorov . As a result, Kirkorov fled to Israel and had himself interred at a psychiatric hospital.[16] On December 7, 2010, the singer publicly admitted that he had psychological problems on his official website and apologized to his latest victim.
Philipp Kirkorov not only looks like a bootleg Disney villain, he is a bootleg Disney villain. Slapping assistants and putting hits on his rivals. This mess is the Naomi and Tonya Harding of Russian pop stars. And on top of all that foolery, he stole Valerie Bertinelli’s 70s look (see pic #2 below).