Afternoon Crumbs
FMK time! I’d fuck Kunty Karl, marry Tilda Swinton and try to kill Anna Wintour, but her cold stare would freeze all my weapons and turns my limbs into icicles – Jezebel
The Earth slightly slipped off of its axis last night when a wax robot mannequin covered her human son in warmth. They’re starting to feel the same emotions we do! We’re doomed – Lainey Gossip
Hot pieces and puppehs: a gallery that will make you awww and fap at the same time – The Berry
In the sequel to Gravity, Sandra Bullock should go back to space and experience something much more terrifying than almost suffocating to death while lost in the universe. She should go back to space and catch Lady CaCa performing live – Towleroad
JLo’s face is made of 50% Bronzer and 50% foundation, so she’s probably speaking the truth (but probably not) – Celebitchy
Tan Mom looks good in a cowboy hat – Drunken Stepfather
The Porn Iguana, Susan Powter, an orange twink and Bobby Trendy walk into a bar together – The Superficial
But in other news, I never noticed until now that Squirrelydia McLaughlin is married to Eric Nies – Reality Tea
Sinead O’Connor’s open letter disorder rubbed off on Miley Cyrus – IDLYITW
I just wanted you to know that Avril Lavigne did not wear your prom dress from 1987 better than you – Hollywood Tuna
Looking at Eva Longoria’s orange ass reminds me that I really need to throw away my week-old Jack-O-Lantern – Popoholic
So is this why the sea always smells salty and fishy? – Tosh.0
Elizabeth Vargas is in rehab to deal with her addiction to the sweet nectar – ICYDK
The title to Chris Pratt’s memoirs should be “I Was A Teenage Stripper” – HuffPo
RiRi’s in a bikini. That might be the one millionth time I have typed those words. Congrats to me! – Just Jared
Words of marital wisdom from Canada’s royal couple – OMG Blog
Leonardo DiCaprio’s mom is dating (or married to) Kenny Rogers’ old face? – Popsugar
So THIS is what Pimp Mama Kris did with Bruce Jenner’s nuts after chewing them off – SOW
If roses had eyes, they’d throw a side-eye for having to share a picture with this bland ho – I’m Not Obsessed
(Pic via Wenn.com)