Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

October 25, 2013 / Posted by:

What young stud recently had a threesome with a mother and her daughter? Hopefully it was enjoyable for all three of them considering he’s been juicing his muscles. Do youthful hormones counteract the supposed dick shrinking effects of steroids? If he doesn’t stop, ironically he might have to start putting his shirt on. Bacne doesn’t look good on Instagram. (Lainey Gossip)

Justin Bieber? Duh. I wouldn’t be surprised if the mother and daughter were Pimp Mama Kris and one of her hos. ILLEGAL! The boiling jizz ceremony from the last episode of American Horror Story: Coven isn’t as dark-sided or disturbing as a threesome involving Justin Bieber and PMK. Get my veil and rosary out of storage, because I need to go to church and be cleansed.

This former A list talk show host who probably wishes she had not got fired so she would still be famous got fired because she snorted lines of coke off her celebrity boss’ desk and bragged about it after. She has been trying to get her old job back but won’t be able to until her old boss moves on. (CDAN)

Whitney Cummings and Chelsea Handler? But Whitney only got fired because Chelsea was pissed she didn’t share. No, I have no idea who this is, but my soul feels like it just inhaled a whole lot of helium from picturing Joy Behar snort a line off the picture of Henry Kissinger that Barbara Walters keeps on her desk.

This actor is getting a divorce. The couple will say that it is due to “irreconcilable differences.” Want to know the real reasons? Of course you do!

There are actually two big reasons for this divorce. We will give you the first: drugs! He has become a total cokehead. He refuses to go to rehab, and she just can’t deal with him anymore. He may be incredibly handsome on the outside, but he is super messed-up on the inside! (Blind Gossip)

Tom Welling? Or Clint Eastwood, because I’m sure Dina Eastwood has caught him snorting Metamucil off of his empty chair’s seat at least once.

This A list mostly movie actor needs to have a hit soon or he is going to drop to B list. Maybe that is why he is going so method for his current role. Anyway our actor was spotted at a club the other night with a guy who is most definitely not his girlfriend. Someone brought out a cell phone to take a photo and our actor went off on the guy and then two others got involved and the guy taking the photo was bombarded by people screaming at him about outing people. No punches were thrown but hey, lots of screaming. A shove perhaps? A finger poke? (CDAN)

Jakey Gyllenhaal?

Honestly this is the best blind I have heard in awhile. OK, so back a few years ago this at the time A+ list celebrity/singer who really was not doing much singing that was successful and spent most of her time just looking pretty and selling things except when people were calling her fat then she just sold things got cheated on. Well, she had cheated in another relationship so I guess this was karma.

What makes this so amazing is that her A list celebrity boyfriend at the time was so ready to end it that he was trying to do as much damage as he could and had sex with this then, and still now, A list country singer who he had a long history with. They had sex in the bedroom of the house he shared with the A+lister. He was not finished doing damage and hired a look-a-like hooker of the A+list celebrity to come over and she wore the celebrity’s lingerie and one of her wigs and the boyfriend filmed himself having sex with her. He then left the DVD on the nightstand with a note to the celebrity that said have a nice life. (CDAN)

Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo and Carrie Underwears? Who knew that Tony, who looks as dumb as a cracked anal bead and as boring as uncooked oatmeal, had it in him.

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