Night Crumbs

Lady CaCa released her new song with R. Kelly called “Do What U Want.” I hope CaCa threw a tarp on the floor, because when you tell R. Kelly to do what he wants while you stick your ass out, you’re pretty much inviting him to power wash your nalgas with his piss stream – Lainey Gossip

Alternate headline: Russell Brand made a gay porn once – The Superficial 

The padded bra shirt for men makes me sad inside and only because it’s missing nipples – Towleroad

Hayden Panatroll’s top looks like a fly cleaning its face. No, I’m not stoned (I think) – Hollywood Tuna

I don’t know if naked Beyonce’s in a hammock or if she made Basement Baby, Michelle Williams and Kelly Rowland hold up two tablecloths – Drunken Stepfather

I was all for Sandra Bullock’s Day of the Dead costume until I got to her flip flops. Really. FLIP FLOPS. – The Berry

Little Critter’s long-lost twin sister might get a Vogue cover – Celebitchy

Kelly Clarkson got married and her dress looks like a dress one of the ghosts wear on the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland – ICYDK

Katy Perry looks like the member of a bootleg Solid Gold dance group called Gold Plated – Popoholic

Sad news for ladies who get moist for dudes who have been tainted by Pimp Mama Kris and look like a retired lesbian tennis player who’s been hit in the face with too many golf balls – Reality Tea

In other words, Quentin Tarantino really wants to eat the dried self-tanner dingles wedged between Xtina’s toes – IDLYITW

Try not to put wrinkles on your forehead by making an OMGIMSOSURPRISEDFACE when Tim Burton announces that his boo Johnny Depp is going to play Beetlejuice in Beetlejuice 2 – HuffPo

Throw this Willie Nelson cake in the trash if it’s not filled with weed cream – OMG Blog

Vin Diesel’s titties look depressed and greasy, but I still would – Just Jared

I hope that at least one paparazzo captured the eye roll that Suri Cruise made when she first saw the $10 brown wig on Taylor Swift’s head – Popsugar

There’s a sick part of me that wants to see Auntie Bruce Jenner and Miss Steven Tyler bump tits – Crunk + Disorderly

Parks and Recreation is taking a break – Pajiba

Justin Bieber’s whiny ode to blow jobs is even more sexier when you think about him squeezing out a stubborn shit into a janitor’s bucket while singing it – Jezebel

Topanga got married – I’m Not Obsessed