Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

September 30, 2013 / Posted by:

Inexplicably, he’s been linked to some really hot, pretty famous women, even though he’s not exactly hot and he behaves, at least artistically, like a douchebag. What’s the attraction? Certainly not his sex moves. This won’t solve the mystery either.

When it’s time to fuck, he doesn’t like doing it at home. Which is weird because, well, he’s really weird about germs and touching. And you’d think his house would be cleaner than a hotel, right? So he and whoever he’s about to do it with are at the hotel. They’re about to do it. Only he won’t take his clothes off. Instead, he’ll always keep his underwear on, looping his dick through the boxer hole so as to minimise as much skin-on-skin contact as possible.

Maybe that’s why it never lasts? (Lainey Gossip)

Some of the known germaphobes of Hollywood are: Howie Mandel, Billy Bob Thornton and Marc Summers.

I don’t thinks it’s Howie Mandel, because Howie Mandel only fucks in a pool full of Purell while two guys in Hazmat suits standby to hose him down. Billy Bob Thornton and St. Angie have probably had blood sex, so he can’t be that much of a germaphobe. And Marc Summers has been married since the beginning of time, so I don’t think it’s him.

I’m going to guess Seth MacFarlane. He kind of fits and he seems like the type who would awkwardly fuck with his clothes on and his dick sticking out of his boxer’s piss pocket like a virgin 9th grader getting it on for the first time in the back of his parent’s car parked in the driveway. But if it’s really that serious and dude can’t take his chonies off to bone, he needs to invest in something called a portable glory hole. He can call John Travolta for a referral.

If there is one thing that publicists never tire of, it’s a staged photo.

Now, we’re not talking about the typical photo of a fake couple on the red carpet, or walking down the street holding hands, or sharing a meal at a public restaurant.

No, the best staged photos aren’t taken in public. The best ones replicate private moments, the ones that you aren’t supposed to see! They are meant to tell a secret story, one where the viewer fantasizes about what happens next.

A good example of this is a photo of a young male star on the floor, entangled with his girlfriend in a loving and “spontaneous” embrace. Of course, everybody has their clothes on, and their faces are cleverly obscured, but the publicists know that you will figure out who this clandestine couple is based on his tattoo… and what comes next based on their position.

Are you buying the hetero image they are trying to give him? Well, you shouldn’t. Because the girl in the photo isn’t the true love of his life. (Blind Gossip)

Harry Styles. Exhibit: EVERYTHING! But if he’s trying to prove he’s straight with this picture, he should’ve probably done a different pose, because it looks like she’s about to peg him missionary-style.

This war between A list mostly movie actresses who are also Academy Award winners has reached epic proportions. #1 won the award but has way less nominations. She is the one who started the fight and has also threatened to expose #2’s infidelities with her leading men. For her part, #2 has threatened to not only expose #1’s infidelities but also release recordings of #1 having sex with a co-star when #1 got too loud and everyone could hear them outside #1’s trailer. (CDAN)

Today, the image of Meryl Streep crouching outside of Julia Roberts‘ trailer door and recording the sex neighs she lets out while screwing her side piece IS taking me higher.

This game show host says he has had more hookers and strippers than Charlie Sheen and now is paying for it. Apparently his engine doesn’t run any longer if you know what I mean. Some kind of infection he picked up and could never shake. It’s not the obvious choice. (CDAN)

The obvious choice would be ALL OF THEM, because all of those game show hosts seem like down low bareback freaks. But I’m going to guess Pat Sajak of Wheel of STDS Fortune?

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