Hot Slut Of The Day!

E.G. Daily (sometimes known as Elizabeth Daily)!

E.G. Daily auditioned on The Voice last night and before we get to that piece of information which I’m still trying to wrap my tattered brain around, let me list some of the reasons why she’s the HSOTD of every day.

1. She sometimes gets mistaken for Pia Zadora and when somebody says to you, “Aren’t you Pia Zadora?”, that’s God’s way of letting you know that you are one of the chosen ones.

2. She was that hot bitch who all the dudes wanted, Loryn in Valley Girl, so she knew Nicolas Cage before he electively switched brains with King Tut’s mummy and went completely insane.

3. She was Pee-wee’s sweetheart Dottie in Pee-wee’s Big Adventure and you know she’s fapped next to him in a porn theater before.

4. She sang a song while wearing an 80s prom dress made out of foil on Better Off Dead.

5. She was in Dogfight with Lili Tayor and River Phoenix. The end.

6. She has two songs on the Scarface soundtrack and there’s only 7 people in all the universes who have that honor.

7. If you grew up in the early 80s, she was part of your childhood since she was in Valley Girl. And if you grew up in the late 90s, she was part of your childhood since she was the voice of a million cartoon characters including Tommy Pickles (and I can’t stand that annoying bitch Tommy Pickles) on Rugrats. She was also the voice of Babe in Babe: Pig in the City. E.G. Daily was part of everyone’s childhood.

8. She was the shifty bitch who stole Smelly Cat from Phoebe on Friends.

The list goes on and on and on (and no, I’m not going to mention that she was married to and made kids with Wonky McValtrex’s sex tape partner Rick Salmonella).

Anyway, E.G. Daily sang Faith Hill’s “Breathe” during her audition on The Voice last night. E.G. Daily’s song “Waiting” is on The Breakfast Club soundtrack and she has to audition for those hos?! It should be the other way around. Adam Levine should be auditioning for her. The tables (or should I say, the spinning chairs) have turned and I don’t like it. Here’s E.G. auditioning for the lessers:

E.G. Daily ended up on Team Blake, but none of this make sense. I’m just going to guess that since E.G. Daily has a giving heart, she auditioned for that little show to help boost ratings. That must be it. But she should’ve auditioned with this song instead: