Afternoon Crumbs

September 23, 2013 / Posted by:

Don’t you just want to miniaturize yourself, take all your panties off and lie on Jon Hamm’s bear rug beard while sipping cognac in front of a roaring fire? – Lainey Gossip

We’re all losers in a douche vs. douche war – Celebitchy

There’s a special place in Hell for evil doers who Bieber-ize their co-worker’s cubicle and that place in Hell looks exactly like this picture – The Berry

Katy Perry makes Miley Cyrus look like the inventor and master of twerking – Drunken Stepfather

Gretchen Rossi is ready to be spend her life, ready to spend her life, ready to spend her life in the back of the unemployment line now that she’s been fired from The Really Plasticwives Of Orange County Reality Tea

If anybody from Harry Potter is going to play Freddie Mercury, it should be Voldemort with a stick-on stache – Towleroad

Everything that comes out of the sideways shit slit on The Difficult Brown’s face is delusional bullshit, so I’m surprised it took him this long to compare himself to Trayvon MartinThe Superficial

Courtney Stodden finally got her weave de-shedded – Hollywood Tuna

The time Batman and Lois Lane did a screen test together – IDLYITW

Selena Gomez, please take a Baby Wipe to that lipstick, because you’re not Fairuza Balk in The CraftPopoholic

On a positive notice, at least that slow loris got seven kinds of stoned after inhaling RiRi’s breath – ICYDK

Catherine Zeta-Jones’ dress looks like a virus as seen through a microscope – HuffPo

Remember the olden days when Nicole Richie looked like a starving gutter ferret when she wore a bikini? – Popsugar

Sailor Moon and Wonder Woman battle it out ball-style – Jezebel

Tila Tequila still exists and is writing brain-hurting Facebook posts that sound like the lyrics to Miley Cyrus’ next single – Fishwrapper

Urban Outfitters’ favorite couple is back together again – Just Jared

Thinking of Idris Elba telling Liam Gallagher to fuck off just made me cream out of my nipples – Videogum

Pippa Middleton’s face and her pants are in a battle to see who can be more orange – I’m Not Obsessed

When the middle-aged divorced office manager at one of my old jobs wore this to work, I gave it all the thumbs down. But when the honey-glazed ham Derek J wears it, I give it all the snaps – Crunk + Disorderly

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