Who Worked It Better?

September 22, 2013 / Posted by:

On the left is my second favorite ice-covered Republican robot wife (next to Cindy McCain) Callista Gingrich and on the right is Claire Danes at the Emmys tonight.

Claire Danes tucked her hair under into a bob so she could look like the perfect white Republican wife who deals with putting on a frozen smile all day by popping Ambien after Ambien as she bawls on the floor of her marble-walled shower with the cold water hitting her back. Claire Danes TRIED IT, but Callista wins, because her blond helmet of doom is so much more than hair. Those man-made tendrils hold the souls of her victims.

Before the Emmys, Claire should’ve went to the girls bathroom at Liberty High School to ask for Rickie’s opinion on that hair, because he would’ve told her that she can’t pull this shit off.

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