Afternoon Crumbs
An Indian-American beauty queen won Miss America for the first time in the history of forever and of course that brought out the racist pieces of trash on Twitter. ‘Murica! – Celebitchy
St. Angie Jolie and her holy sharp nipples took two of the Chosen Ones to buy supplies at an arts and crafts store, and yes, I’m sure they’re going to create a masterpiece that will be hung on the altar at the Sistine Chapel – Lainey Gossip
Hayden Panatroll can titty fuck that giant while they both stand up. If that isn’t a sign of perfect compatibility, I don’t know what is – Drunken Stepfather
Call the Coast Guard! The Loch Mess Whore Monster is on the loose and coming for your souls – The Superficial
Here’s a knocked up bikini selfie from Kim Zolciak that you didn’t need to see – Reality Tea
The new ads for Arrow can double as flyers for a St. Patrick’s Day party at a gay club – Towleroad
Here’s some behind-the-scenes shots from Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball video shoot shot by Uncle Terry and I’m really grateful there’s no pictures of him jacking off over her – The Berry
Lindsay Lohan is humping on Ceiling Eyes’ leftovers – IDLYITW
Jessica Simpson could save several dozen malnourished orphans with those enormous leche balls. Salma Hayek approves! – Hollywood Tuna
Katy Perry thinks that Vitamin C tastes like a load of man milk. Please, John Mayer’s loads probably taste like blended up scabs and crab chowder and Katy Perry can’t tell me otherwise – ICYDK
Nick Jonas and Olivia Culpo are still doing it – Popoholic
Oh, dude’s just trying to have an intimate conversation with the fetus – Tosh.0
Mykki Blanco is not giving Brit Brit or Lady CaCa a pink dollar from his wallet anytime soon – OMG Blog
Brit Brit is officially the highest-paid lip syncher in Las Vegas – HuffPo
Two teen dudes almost got kicked out of McDonald’s for being too classy while on a romantic faux gay date. Okay, but how is that one thinking he’s classy while wearing a short-sleeved shirt with a tie?! – Gawker
DUIna Lohan partied with Jill Zarin on her birthday – Just Jared
“Miley learned how to twerk by watching parking-lot dance-offs in Atlanta” and other eye roll-worthy butt raisins from her Harper’s Bazaar interview – Popsugar
24 things you didn’t know about Queen Latifah and 1 thing you already knew (see: #22) – Boy Culture
Because I know you were wondering (no, you weren’t), Paula Patton is still wearing her wedding ring – I’m Not Obsessed
We’ve been saved from seeing Sophia Grace as Little Red Riding Hood in the Into the Woods movie – Jezebel