Night Crumbs
The cover art for Miley Cyrus’ new single looks like a still from the worst objectophilia porn ever – Drunken Stepfather
Sean Avery and Andy Cohen are probably not engaged but they want you to think they are – Lainey Gossip
Carry on usual, Jack Nicholson is not retiring! – The Superficial
Do they make chilled lube? Because today’s Shirtless Friday happened to land on a day that is hotter than a throbbing wart on Lucifer’s dick – The Berry
Oh, I’m sure Goopy Paltrow got over Chris Martin taking their kids to McDonald’s after she made them go on a 45-day lemon seed and grass water fast to get the McPoison out of their systems – Celebitchy
A handful of Drag Race queens do Cher’s “Woman’s World” – Towleroad
We get it, Sofia Vergara, you’re the highest paid TV actress and you’ve got money falling out of your ass – Hollywood Tuna
Donkey Booty vs. Stallion Booty: Round 1,456 – Reality Tea
Katy Perry is serving up some Urban Outfitters catalog realness with her album cover – ICYDK
Speaking of looking like something that Urban Outfitters barfed up – Popoholic
Richard Simmons would’ve worked Heidi Klum’s outfit better, but then again Richard Simmons would work every outfit better – IDLYITW
Presenting the Walmart Workers Flash Mob (featuring a few bouncing yellow chichis) – OMG Blog
Jay-Z and Beyonce are on a yacht, but aren’t they always? – Popsugar
White Oprah and Michael Lohan are yelling at each other on TV. I’m sure they got a check out of it which means at least they’re not searching Lindsay Lohan’s purse for coke money – Jezebel
Sarah Silverman wrote a sweet obit for her dog friend – Pajiba
In possibly related news, the entire WGN studio was just got sucked up into a cloud in the sky – SOW
The chick from Coyote Ugly is getting married – Just Jared
Armie Hammer is choking his feminist wife with his farts – Videogum
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH – I’m Not Obsessed