Afternoon Crumbs

Thanks to this tasteful and delicate rose tattoo, Cheryl Cole has taken the title of England’s Finest Rose away from Jodie Marsh. Nothing is classier than shitting out of a rose garden tattoo – IDLYITW

It was nice of Will Smith to let his kids borrow some of his old Fresh Prince of Bel Air outfits for the VMAs – Lainey Gossip

Taylor Swift poses with her ex-piece, her rumored piece and a piece who is killing me with Blue Steel – The Berry

Things I do not want to see Gene Simmons’ tongue on: Backdoor Farrah’s crotch – Drunken Stepfather

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas might be getting a divorce – Celebitchy

The Real Seat Fillers of the VMAs – Reality Tea

Sorry, Vanessa Hudgens, but even though you did yourself up like a third-rate Yellow Pages Lisa Bonet impersonator, the young dude in the glasses behind you stole this shot – Hollywood Tuna

Madge’s gold dentures are here to stay, thankyouverymuch – Towleroad

I was a little disappointed that Katy Perry didn’t shoot anything out of her tits during her performance – The Superficial

FOUND! The inspiration for Miley’s look – Tosh.0

MiserAlba went to the grocery store, but I’m sure you’ve already read about this on CNN (I’m not joking) – Popoholic

Sugar mama lets gold digger know that she’s got all the sugar – ICYDK

This is who should’ve opened the VMAs last night – Jezebel

Here’s the white people who will be on SNL next season – Pajiba

The King of the Home Wreckers and the Queen of the Gold Diggers are still in St. Tropez – Popsugar

Somebody bought Vin Diesel a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame – Just Jared

Miss Ellie’s ashes are rolling in their urn over this comparison – SOW

How does Brit Brit always manage to look like she just glided off of a runway at a couture show in Paris? – I’m Not Obsessed