Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 14, 2013 / Posted by: Michael K

Drunk Ass Sandra Lee’s pet cockatoo Phoenix!

For a week, the Food Network’s resident drunk mess Sandra Lee told The New York Times’ Fashion & Style section what she wore every day and the article is a lie, because nowhere does it say that she wore vodka stains, puddles of dried Elmer’s Glue and splashes of Hpnotiq on her clothes daily. But anyway, the First Drunk Lady of New York talked about how her pet cockatoo Phoenix, a gift from her piece Governor Andrew Cuomo, ruined the dress she was going to wear to the Met Gala. It goes without saying, but I LOVE PHOENIX! Drunk Ass Sandy put it like this:

Two weeks before, I had received my invitation to the Met Gala excited about this year’s theme: punk. I had a Vivienne Westwood dress, midnight black, perfectly beaded bodice and floor-length multilayered tulle skirt — perfect for the gala. I entered the walk-in closet to find Phoenix had severed nearly every bead, crystal and pearl from the dress. No joke. Into the cage Phoenix went…

More like, into the microwave Phoenix went….. On the next Semi-Homemade, Drunk Ass Sandy will make “almost tastes like chicken” cockatoo enchiladas using leftover tortillas from El Pollo Loco, the dried crust stuck to the lid of a jar of Tostito’s queso dip, fire-roasted salsa packets from Taco Bell and a dollop of Daisy.

Phoenix was just doing Drunk Ass Sandy a favor. The Met Gala’s theme was “punk” so he was punking that dress up. Drunk Ass Sandy was too drunk to appreciate Phoenix’s styling skills. I doubt that was the first time Phoenix messed up something in Drunk Ass Sandy’s house. Every time she makes one of her busted ass tablescapes, Phoenix probably tears that mess apart. Phoenix is one of us!

Tags: Hot Slut of the Day

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