Afternoon Crumbs

Dear Miranda Kerr, please pull out your notebook and turn to your left. That is how you deliver a pose that’ll make the boys salivate, honey! – Lainey Gossip

If the evil spirit of Deadmau5 took over RiRi’s body… – Drunken Stepfather

Jaden Smith needs less Scientology in his life – Celebitchy

Jeremy Irons opened up his trap hole about same-sex marriage again – Towleroad

We’ll know RiRi is knocked up when we hear someone crying “WHYYYYY MEEEE?????” from her stomach area – The Superficial 

One time when I was 6 or 7, I went to a birthday party and the kid’s mom gave us so much candy and I kept eating and eating and eating and eating until I barfed it all up on the white kitchen floor. What I stared at on that kitchen floor looks exactly like what’s on Kelly Brook’s dress – Hollywood Tuna 

Rosario Dawson’s serving us some ho shit in GQ – Popoholic

“OhmyXenu, me too, Heather!” – John Travolta – ICYDK

NBC should pull Today’s ratings back up by turning the camera around and showing all the foolery that happens behind-the-scenes – Jezebel

With our luck, Kim Kartrashian will use this to her advantage and get cast as Chewbacca in the new Star Wars movies – IDLYITW

Time is trying to sell us that they have no idea what the definition of “influential” is – The Berry 

William Levy is hot even with Kim Kardashian’s used wax strips on his head – Just Jared

Panty Creamer of the Day: Mark Wright – OMG Blog

If “Suki Waterhouse” is one of Victor Garber’s nicknames, then the answer is yes – I’m Not Obsessed

But for why is JLo wearing a children’s nightgown from the 1890s? – HuffPo 

Teen Mom Farrah is not only brainless, but she’s homeless now too – Reality Tea 

Just think, Adrienne Maloof’s mouth has been on that – SOW

I guess Vanessa Hudgen’s ecstasy-induced Coachella high wore off – Celebslam

Elizabeth Hurley’s dress looks like it made of glitter-covered red licorice laces – Popsugar