Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Dizzy Doodler!
Writing about every first grader’s drug of choice, Mr. Sketch’s Scented Markers, the other day made me think about all the school supplies I obsessed over so I didn’t have to obsess about actual school work and my brain burped up the Dizzy Doodler! The Dizzy Doodler was exactly what it looks like. It was a vibrating pen that made squiggles. That’s it. Every time you used it, you felt like a strung out junkie with the shakes trying to sign his name on the methadone clinic sign-in sheet. It was the best. And while doing research for this highly important post, I came across something at Go Ask Alice that gave me a new appreciation for the Dizzy Doodler:
Alice,
Is there anything wrong with using a squiggle pen instead of a vibrator? I have been doing this for about four years now and it has done wonders! Am I weird?
Dear Reader,
No, you’re not weird — if it’s done wonders for you, you’re lucky. Assuming that your squiggle pen is one of those battery-operated devices that writes wildly, as long as you’re not making to-do lists on your nipples, clitoris, or penis, your substitute vibrator is probably okay. If one is going to put something in any body opening, the golden rules are: sharp, breakable, and hard-to-hold-on-to objects can be problematic, washing the gadget with warm water and soap after every use is generally a good idea, and pain is a good indicator to slow down, pull out, and/or go back to the drawing board.
If you stick it in your ass, you can put the doody in the Dizzy Dooler. And since when is it wrong to make to-do lists on your nipples?!