Hot Slut Of The Day!

It seemed like the 90s were all about milk. Milk was everywhere and everyone tried to shove it down our drink holes in gallons. They wanted us to drink, snort, inject and freebase milk. They even put leche in our enemas. I said I was lactose-intolerant, so somebody shoved a glass of Lactaid in front of me. There was no escaping the milk. I guess the children of the 90s weren’t filling their stomach bags with enough milk, so the milk industry put out SMILK!

SMILK was a brand of flavored milk for kids and it came in raspberry, strawberry and orange vanilla. The only good thing about Smilk is that it made your milk farts smell like Victoria’s Secret lotion (no, it didn’t but I wish it did). Smilk didn’t exactly take off and it disappeared after the 90s ended. Ironically, you can find its face on the back of a milk carton.

Smilk should definitely make a comeback and market to the lazy drunks instead of the kids. I mean, orange vanilla Smilk probably tastes delicious with a shot of rum.