Afternoon Crumbs

The jokes write themselves: a vintage quote from Lindsay Lohan in Nickelodeon Magazine – ICYDK

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are STILL in Cabo and they’re standing around like kids whose parents forgot to pick them up from school – Lainey Gossip

Noted ghost humper Ke$ha is an equal opportunity ghost humper who will hump on ghosts with penises or ghosts with vaginas – Towleroad

MiserAlba’s bikini ass gives an encore performance – Hollywood Tuna 

That first mug shot should be Florida’s official state flag – The Berry 

In case you believed Kim Kardashian when she lied and said that an E! camera crew hasn’t moved into her uterus yet….. – The Superficial 

The look isn’t Reese Witherspoon in a 1950s one piece and a trucker hat – Popsugar

And here’s Pamela Anderson’s ass – Drunken Stepfather

And here’s Leonardo DiCaprio’s future ex-girlfriend (it’s inevitable) in chonies of every color – Popoholic

For the zero of you who already didn’t know that LeAnn Rimes had a tracking device installed in one of her silicone titty sacks so the paparazzi always know where she is – Celebitchy

Jennifer Lawrence thinks acting is stupid – Cityrag

For about six seconds there I mistook Kristen Stewart for Skillrex without his glasses on – Just Jared

Never mind Fist Brown, Nia Long’s Fresh Prince character is about to file charges against RiRi for stealing her entire look – Moe Jackson 

Krysten Ritter is the latest name of a million that’s being tossed around for a role in Fifty Shades of Suck – IDLYITW

Riding the subway in Tokyo at rush hour seems about as fresh and pleasant as spending ten minutes in the Scientology’s men sauna during happy hour – OMG Blog

Snoop Lion keeps it elegant in a red velvet fur coat – I’m Not Obsessed

Angelyne, please snatch your favorite wig off of Nicki Minaj’s head – Crunk + Disorderly

This 10-year-old anti-Belieber needs to review everything from now on – Videogum