Afternoon Crumbs

George Michael is alive, well and sunning his hair yarmulke with his hairy piece in the Maldives – Towleroad

When Eva Mendes gets back from humping on Ryan Gosling in Thailand, she better give your nana her “sweeping the porch on a Thursday morning” pajama pants back – Lainey Gossip

And Colin Hanks still does nothing to awaken my dead no-no – The Berry

Miley Cyrus is really committed to looking like lot lizard who just got dumped by her pimp for using all her ho money to buy chewing tobacco – The Superficial

You won’t believe this, but lingerie model Miranda Kerr is modeling lingerie again – Hollywood Tuna

Somehow the image of Charlize Theron and Chelsea Handler taking turns doing shots off of Chuy’s tits is just what my Wednesday afternoon needed – Celebitchy

If I squint my eyes and push my head deeper into the gutter, Alessandra Ambrosio’s belly looks like a giant tit with a sausage head nipple – Popoholic

They tell me this is for 30 Rock, but Jim Carrey usually acts like this in real life – Just Jared

The Bourne Legacy trailer starring Donna Murphy from Murder One!!!!! – ICYDK

Is Amber Heard trying to bring one of Courtney Stodden’s Tweets to life in this picture? – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Never 4Get: Anna Nicole Smith (and Sugar Pie…..and Cousin Shelly) – Cityrag

Kanye West looking like a mourner at Tom of Finland’s funeral – Crunk + Disorderly

What is the green equivalent of blue balls? Does that mean he has gangrene of the nutsack? – SOW

I don’t know if that’s water, oil, kitchen grease or thick slobber from Falcor Rimes‘ mouth – I’m Not Obsessed

Does the Internet Troll Hunter take requests, because there’s a few trolls I’d like him to visit – The Daily What

Kristin Davis’ daughter must have just watched the first five minutes of SATC2 – Popsugar

Fuck those anti-gayers, it’s their loss since JcPenney has the most GLAMOROUS salon ever – Videogum