All Hail Tilda!

In the sea of candle faces, burnt sienna skin and rejected bridesmaids dresses, out came an alien goddess from planet Bowie whose hair blows without any wind around it. They should’ve put a giant CLOSED sign on the red carpet as soon as Tilda Swinton stomped in looking like the Snow Queen going to a high-powered business meeting. Bitch is business on the top and ELEGANZAAAA on the bottom. Normally, I’d feel sad on the inside if Tilda didn’t show up in a dress that looks like an iridescent condom made by Frank Gehry, but all of this worked from the top of her Hermey hair to the bottom of her Sally’s Beauty Supply shoes. Speaking of, only Tilda can look at the hair samples under the dye boxes at Sally’s and say, “I want that on my feet!”