Joe Man Jello Is Big Dick Richie

August 19, 2011 / Posted by:

If Steven Soderbergh is trying to make coochies and culos foam at the mouth like Cujo with this Magic Mike movie, then it’s working. Steven’s Magic Mike is about Channing Tatum’s days as a dick-flapping, nalgas-shaking, nipple-pinching, oil-slathering stripper and almost every casting announcement is like an orgasm from heaven.

So far, the cast includes Channing Tatum (eh), Alex Pettyfer (total douchehole but stills a ! from me), Matt Bomer (!!), Matthew McConaughey (eh squared), William Levy (!!!) and now True Blood’s Joe Manganiello has hopped on the Panty Creamer Express as Big Dick Richie. Steven just has to cast Boris Kodjoe as Bigger Dick Richie and Carrot Top, and he can officially change the title to Wet Dreams Do Come True. (I know, I always have to break the buzz in your loins by bringing up Carrot Top.)

This is like Showgirls but with 1000% more peen. Showpeens!

Steven better shoot this in (CL)IMAX 3D and release all the outtakes on an unrated DVD that comes wrapped in the used stripper chonies of one of the cast members. Steven also better hold an open call for fluffers or opposite-fluffers (since I’ve been known to bring a peen down with talks of Carrot Top, for example).

That being said, poor movie employees will soon find out what Tommy Girl’s clean up crew have to deal with when they go down to his dungeon.

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