Which Giant Piece Is Hayden Panettiere Climbing On Today?

June 8, 2011 / Posted by: Michael K

Hayden Pantiesupintheair immediately denied the rumor that Mark Sanchez tossed her across the room, ran to the other side and caught her gnome-gina with his peen. UsWeekly says that Hayden is telling the truth about that, because she’s getting on a different player from the New York Jets. The tramp of the treasure troll world was seen yesterday in West Hollywood with the Jets wide receiver Scotty McKnight.

A source says that when Hayden was seen at In-N-Out with Mark Sanchez on Memorial Day in Laguna Beach, Scotty McKnight was with them. When UsWeekly asked Hayden about the Mark Sanchez thing a few days ago, she said, “I’m a huge Jets fan and became very good friends with Mark and his buddies. I’ve always been that girl who has a lot of dude friends. I’m into sports so we have a lot in common.”

If Hayden is the pass around patty for the New York Jets, I swear I’m going to go into the enchanted forest and beg the wish fairy (or Gay Al) to turn me into a dolphin-loving, stumpy elf who has the boyish charm of Cathy Rigby. Some trolls get all the luck (and football dick).

Hayden is starting a serious athlete fetish. If she traded her soul and morals in for a hippo ass, a Species face, and a whorey baby voice, Kris Jenner would totally adopt her.

Tags: Hayden Panettiere, Yeah Okay

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