Lindsay Lohan Got In Trouble

So you know how Lindsay Lohan supposedly freaked out over some stalker throwing threats at her? And you know how Betty Ford moved her to a secret private location so the “stalker” wouldn’t get to her? Well, it turns out that secret private location is a party house where the booze flows! That shifty little drunk genius wreck…

But it’s not totally what you think. TMZ says that even though LiLo’s roommates were boozing like Catholic toddlers during the house party, there’s really no evidence that the freckled one herself touched the sweet nectar. LiLo’s roommates were moved back to the main facility as punishment. LiLo was also moved back to the main building for “intensive therapy” and officials have banned her from leaving the area for the holidays. A different source says that on the night of the party, LiLo and her roommates also went to a bar. Just like at the party, nobody witnessed LiLo drinking booze.

My first thought about this mess was, “JUST BOOZE?!” The LiLo from last year could’ve got caught injecting old battery acid into her anus lips while a goat chewed on her nip, and we would’ve shrugged our shoulders and asked to pass the Easy Mac. So she’s practically a CHANGED MESS if she was only sipping on some vodka. And yeah, I guess those two sentences secured my certificate from White Oprah’s Night School Of Enabling.