Afternoon Crumbs

Jakey G’s grizzly man beard is doing things to me. I just want to watch him suck the raisins out of a granola bar in between chopping wood (not a euphemism…I think) – Popsugar

Joe Jonas’ publicist worked hard this weekend – Lainey Gossip

Katy Perry wetten dat ass in Germany. Just pretend that made an ounce of sense. – The Superficial

Well said, Mrs. Rojo, well said – Towleroad

RiRi is wearing me down with her “The Little Mermaid as a third-tier lounge singer” mop, so I give in! (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

The president of the Betty White fan club has been found – The Berry

Russell Brand wishes – Celebitchy

Levi Johnston shouldn’t quit his day job, whatever that day job is – Just Jared

Professional fashion show audience member Rachel Bilson is purdy in pink – Popoholic

When we can watch you suck an actual peen in your porno, then your beej innuendos don’t really work anymore – Hollywood Tuna

Posh carrying her own suitcase?! The economy really is messing with everyone – Egotastic!

Jennifer Aniston voted the most eligible bachelorette in Hollywood – ICYDK

The Situation probably doubles up on this mess when he goes trollin’ – SOW

But is Lara Flynn Boyle’s new reality show going to give us the answer to the question: Why do you hate your face?!!!!! – I’m Not Obsessed

Why is Christian Milian introducing her daughter to that dog’s ass (SPOILER ALERT: Because it’s just like spending time with The Dream)? – Hollywood Rag

Antoine Dodson is prettier than a peen wrapped in crushed velvet – Crunk + Disorderly

What happens at the Vogue 90th anniversary party…ends up all over the internet – Holy Moly!

Tricky the dog is more talented than 99.999% of the hos on this page (Phoebe Price not included) – Cityrag

And Dlisted <3s Tina Fey too, but sesame rice crackers with tuna fish not so much (unless you can deep fry that shit) – Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (Thanks Albion)