Ty Ty Is Slapping At Her Tenhead Wishing She Came Up With This
Australia’s Next Top Model SPOILER ALERT, so move your eyes elsewhere if you don’t want to know shit. All the tricks and foolery Ty Ty Banks has pulled out of her lacefront cannot compare with the amazing (and possibly staged) disaster that hit the live finale of Australia’s Next Top Model tonight. This is every reality contestant’s worst nightmare. This is even worse than the doctor mixing up the test results and telling the wrong bitch that they have a flesh eating skin disease and it won’t be long before their face looks like one of Iggy Pop’s anal lips. This is worse than that.
On Australia’s Next Top Model, the final winner is chosen by the viewers and a live audience of 2000. They vote via text message and Interactive Red Button. Well, at the end of tonight’s live finale, host Sarah Murdoch announced that the winner was 19-year-old Kelsey Martinovich. CHEERS! ORGASMS! SPARKLES! DREAMS! MADE! And just when Kelsey was starting to imagine her new glamorous life as a premiere catalog poser and mall fashion show model, Sarah hit the stop button on the celebrations. Sarah stomped on Kelsey’s bright dreams by telling everyone that she announced the wrong name! The stage manager gave her the wrong fucking name! Way to pull the dick out of a bitch before she cums! Damn. Damn. Damn.
The true winner was the other girl Amanda. The most shocking part is that Kelsey didn’t yank out earrings, punch mouths or go on a massacre by stabbing everybody in the eye with her heel. Kelsey just kept saying, “It’s okay…it’s okay…mistakes happen.” KELSEY! This kind of mistake does not happen! Babies getting switched? That’s a mistake that happens. Accidentally pouring NAIR into your roommate’s bottle of leave-in conditioner. That’s a mistake that happen! Marriage. That’s a mistake that happens! But declaring the wrong winner on a dumb reality show? This does not happen!
Foxtel apologized to Kelsey in a statement and said they are giving her $25,000 and a trip to NYC to meet with Elite:
“Sarah handled what was a difficult situation with utmost professionalism and grace. Amanda and Kelsey were neck and neck in the voting all night.
We apologise to Kelsey for the error, and Foxtel will be sending her to New York as well as awarding her $25,000 as a prize.”
The clip of this hilarious wreck is below:
You know Ty Ty is re-shooting the finale of America’s Next Top Model right now. She will not be outdone! Expect her to say at the finale: “And the winner of America’s Next Top Model who gets a spread in VOGUE ITALIA VOGUE ITALIA VOGUE ITALIA is…..ME!!!” Actually, you were expecting that anyway, right?
(Thanks Aaron)