Morpheus Is Not Pleased

Laurence Fishburne isn’t exactly skipping through the set of CSI while proudly holding a copy of his 19-year-old daughter’s debut porn movie. Don’t expect to see a “My Kid Fucks Better Than Your Honor Student” bumper sticker on Laurence’s car anytime soon. In fact, Laurence found out about his daughter selling snatch on camera the same day we all did.

Montana Fishburne, who is going by the porn name Chippy D, tells TMZ, “[My dad] is very upset. I heard that he’s mad at me but I haven’t spoken to him yet. I feel pretty confident that I can work things out with him. I think he wants to support me in everything I do, and though he sees this now as a negative, I believe in time he will view it as a positive.”

Morpheus has every right to be madder than fish grease at this bitch. Shit, I’m mad at her for listing Kim Kardassian as one of her role models. The broken toilet my mom uses as a flower planter in her backyard would make a better choice for a role model.

But importantly, I’m mad at her for going by the name Chippy D when she was given the perfect porn name ever. Sound it out. FISH-BURN. This bitch! Chippy D sounds like the nickname of a chunky chipmunk from the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie who has big dreams of becoming a hip hop star but his lisp keeps getting in the way. Just no.