George Lopez, How Could You?

This really is turning out to be the year of philandering peens. Soon “Let me smell yo dick” is going to be the new “How was work?”

George Lopez’s wife gave him one of her kidneys 5 years ago, and now The National Enquirer is saying that he has thanked her by giving his dick to two pussy peddlers for a price. If this is true, bitch needs to get her kidney back with interest. When she handed over one of her kidneys on ice, she didn’t expect his ass to use it to help him hump a whore.

One of the professional hookers, who goes by the name “Tiffany,” told The Enquirer, “I had sex with George Lopez for money, and so did a friend of mine. He wanted a threesome and texted me . . .”

Sandra Bullock always wondered why when George Lopez came over for dinner he always spent most of the night whispering with Vanilla Gorilla in the corner. They weren’t talking about cars and shit, Vanilla Gorilla was giving George Lopez tips on how to get puss juice out of his clothes using a Little Tree air freshener, a stick of Wrigley’s and spit.

And if you ever think that a hooker’s job is easy, just reread this quote: “I had sex with George Lopez…”