Balloon Boy Is Sick Of This Shit (Literally)

On Larry King last night (seeee beeeelow), Balloon Boy kind of let the publicity stunt out of the bag when he blurted out, “You said it was for a show” during the interview. CUE AWKWARD PAUSE! That’s obviously not how they rehearsed it, because Balloon Boy’s parents were at a lost for words. It’s like when you take a hot piece home from the bar, and you rip off their chonies only to find that they’ve got a peen the size of button mushroom. You scream to yourself, “What the fuck am I supposed to do now?!” Well, that was basically the look on both of Balloon Boy’s parents. HA.

And Wolf Blitzer proved that he needs to spend a little intimate time with a prostitute named “GET A CLUE,” because he did not follow up Balloon Boy’s bomb. Which leads us to Today this morning….

When Meredith Vieira asked Balloon Boy’s skeezy daddy about the talk that the whole thing was just a publicity stunt, out came the barfs! I’m sure Balloon Boy wasn’t the only one getting physically sick. Luckily, the family just happened to have a barf bucket at hand, so while Balloon Boy yacked it up, his father went on with the interview. In the Joe Jackson child pimp handbook, it says that if a boy barfs, keep on tapping! Balloon Boy’s daddy must have read it before the interview.

The father tried to explain that Balloon Boy only said it was for a show on Larry King last night, because earlier when one of the producers asked him to recreate getting into the attic, the producer said it was “for a show.” Balloon Boy’s dad also said he was sickened by the accusations that a family who was on Wife Swap twice would actually fake something like this for publicity. Yeah, he wasn’t the only one getting sick obviously.

So what’s the moral of this story? Never EVER trust a grown ass man with boy band hair circa 1991!