Fisting Gone Wrong

Everyone is hurting their hands these days! First there was Shia LaDouche, then Malcolm in the Middle, and now George Clooney! Obviously, hos in Hollywood need to invest in the Male Machine. Jerk that junk without the risk!

So, George’s rep tells People that he wrecked up his hand in an accident in Italy, “There was an accident and he did break his hand. He was not riding a motorcycle, it was not in Switzerland … He was on his property in Italy and he shut the car door on his hand.“

Shut the car door on his hand? Is that what we’re calling it these days? It’s okay, George. Sometimes a bitch loses their balance and falls off the bed, taking your fist with them. It happens. Next time, do your fisting stuff on a hard, sturdy surface. Hopefully, the other bitch’s ass made it out without a scratch.

George’s rep added that he got treatment in Switzerland and is doing FINE now, “The doctor has given him 30-40 years more to live, and no live animals were harmed during the wrapping of the hand. The only reason he went to the hospital was to get a temporary cast put on.”

Oh, we’ve got a fucking hot one here! It looks like Groucho Marx was reincarnated as George’s spokeswhore!