Don’t Eat The Cookie Dough!!

June 19, 2009 / Posted by: Michael K

If you get the craving to eat cookie dough this weekend, lick this picture and don’t eat the real thing or you may doody until you dieeeeeee. Nestle has recalled a bunch of their cookie dough products after 66 people in 28 states got sick with E. coli. This is serious. I just ate Nestle cookie dough a couple of weeks ago. RAW. If my ass starts leaking non-stop, I won’t be so quick to blame it on my extra-curricular activities.

Nestle is begging you not to eat their products raw or cooked! Normally, the heat would kill the bacteria, but Nestle isn’t fucking around. If you have a bunch of Nestle cookie dough in your freezer, you can return it to your grocery store for a full refund. This weekend the grocery stores are totally going to be full of single depressed ladies trading in their unused cookie dough for SnackWells.

Why do they always recall delicious things? They never recall crap like peas or multi-grain Cheerios. You know, shit I wouldn’t even eat if it was laying on Prince Hot Ginge’s peen (I’m lying).

I always eat raw cookie dough. I tell myself that I’m going to bake it like a normal person, but then suddenly the bowl is empty and I have the guilties.

And I hope Bradley Cooper doesn’t dump Jennifer Aniston this weekend or she is TOTALLY FUCKED.

Tags: Deliciousness, The Colbert, Why Are You Doing This To Us?

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