The Feud Is Over

The war of stupid words between HoHan and Michael Lohan is over….for now. Michael released a statement to E! saying he took a really big shit. After that, he issued another statement saying HoHan will show up to his father’s funeral in New York. Michael’s daddy “literally passed away” in his arms last week.

Michael said: “She is going to be at the burial. All my kids will be there. My father always wanted to be cremated. He wanted to have his ashes sprinkled in our county in Cold Spring Harbor, in the harbor. That was his favorite spot. So that is what we are going to do. We are going to get on our boat with probably like 50 or 60 people and go out. We are just going to sprinkle them together as a family.”

There are maps available to paparazzi and tabloid reporters to the exact location of his father’s funeral. There will also be a “meet and greet” before the burial and Michael will sign autographs after. If you can’t make it, I’m sure there will be plenty of footage on “The Insider” or “Entertainment Tonight.”

Michael went on to talk about White Oprah. He only had nice things to say about her. “And I can’t believe how great Dina has been. She has been wonderful. She has been the woman I married. She has been great.”

Somebody get the Catholic church on the phone. When a crazy man who has nothing but intense hate for her describes her as “wonderful,” it’s time to call in a priest. We need the priest to expel the happy spirit that is obviously taking over White Oprah’s body.

Here’s some pictures of HoHan with some blonde and a hipster scarecrow trolling the streets of NYC yesterday.