Category: Oscar Pistorius
Oscar Pistorius’ Jail Term Just Got More Than Doubled
Three years ago, Paralympic gold medal sprinter Oscar “Blade Runner” Pistorius was on trial for killing his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. At the time, it seemed like he might sprint away from any possible jail time after being found guilty of “culpable homicide.” But that thought was dashed (sorry, I’ll stop) when a judge found him guilty of the much more serious “murder,” and gave him five years in prison. That sentence was later upped to six.
If you thought that six years for shooting a woman four times through a bathroom door was a too damn light, you’re not alone. A South African court thought the same, and they’ve recently dumped a whole lot more prison time on Oscar.
Oscar Pistorius Sentenced To Six Years In Prison For Murdering Reeva Steenkamp
The last time we checked in on Oscar Pistorius, a dude whose face looks like the prototype for every rich suspect on Law & Order: SVU, South Africa’s Supreme Court of Appeals had bumped up his previous conviction of “culpable homicide” to the way more serious conviction of “murder” of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. There was a time (around that “culpable homicide” conviction) where there was talk that Oscar Pistorius wouldn’t feel the cold steel of a prison toilet under his ass. But that time is long gone. BBC News says that earlier today a judge sentenced Oscar Pistorius to six years in prison.
Oscar Pistorius Is A Convicted Murderer Now
Oscar Pistorius will soon have to say goodbye to the 1800 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets in his luxurious house arrest prison and once again say hello to 0 count cardboard sheets in the chokey, because South Africa’s Supreme Court of Appeals upgraded a lower court’s ruling of “culpable homicide” to “murder.” The Supreme Court of Appeals found him guilty of murdering his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp.
Oscar Pistorius Will Be Released From The Clink Into House Arrest Next Week
Last year, Oscar Pistorius was sent off to the chokey for 5 years after he was found guilty of culpable homicide (that’s “manslaughter” in American legal talk) for shooting and killing his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp in his bathroom on Valentine’s Day in 2013. Oscar used the “I thought she was an intruder!” defense while some of us rolled our eyeballs while saying, “Uh huh, sure, South African OJ.” After sitting in prison for a whole 12 months, the parole board has decided to release him, but don’t worry, his punishment continues.
Oscar Pistorius Gets Five Years In Prison For Killing Reeva Steenkamp, But He’ll Most Likely Be Released A Lot Earlier
Seen above holding in a snot stream of sadness he planned to release for the cameras if the judge actually hit him with the maximum punishment, Oscar Pistorius was finally sentenced today for shooting his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp to death through a toilet room door. Judge Thokozile Masipa, who found him guilty of culpable homicide (which is basically manslaughter to us hos in the US) last month, sentenced him to 5 years in the clink. To put that time in perspective, it took me longer to read The Guardian’s entire article about his sentencing. Oscar faced a maximum sentence of 15 years in the chokey, but since he’s a rich, famous athlete, if that happened we’d all be flying through the universe right now, because the earth’s core would’ve exploded.
Before sentencing, prosecutors asked the judge to hit him with 10 years in jail and Oscar’s lawyers asked for community service and house arrest. Judge Masipa told the court that she believed her sentence was fair:
“A non-custodial sentence would send the wrong message to the community. On the other hand, a long sentence would also not be appropriate either, as it would lack
the element of mercy.”
Element of mercy? Oh yeah, that’s what was missing from Oscar’s brain when he shot through that door three times.
After the judge gently slapped Oscar on the wrist, Reeva’s family told the BBC that they believe justice was served and they’re ready to move on. Oscar’s uncle told reporters that his nephew “will embrace the opportunity to pay back to society.”
Just because Oscar was sentenced to 5 years in jail, doesn’t mean he’s going to be locked up for 5 years in jail. He’ll most likely be released really early for good behavior. Oscar’s lawyer thinks he’ll spend 10 months in jail before serving the rest of his sentence on house arrest in his fancy house. Prosecutors believe he’ll serve 2 years in jail. He was also given a three-year suspended sentence for a firearms charge and he must turn in all of his guns and his gun license.
The International Olympic Committee hasn’t said anything about this, but the International Paralympic Committee has banned him from competing for 5 years. His Olympic career is probably done, so now he can spend all his time on fancy house arrest writing a book titled “IF I Murdered Her.”
Pic: AP
Oscar Pistorius Found Guilty Of Culpable Homicide, But He Might Not Get Any Jail Time
Well, at least this time his nose didn’t shit out a snot fall of grossness that made him look like a damn Alien with allergies.
Yesterday, Judge Thokozile Matilda Masipa dismissed the premeditated murder charge against Oscar Pusstorius, because in her opinion the state didn’t give enough evidence that proved he meant to kill his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. This morning, Judge Masipa made Oscar Pistorius stand up as she declared him guilty of culpable homicide (which is kind of like manslaughter here in the US). In her ruling, she said that he was negligent when he fired several shots into that locked toilet room. She also convicted him of one firearm charge. Judge Masipa said this to the court:
“A reasonable person, with a similar disability, would have foreseen that the person behind the door would be killed, and the accused failed to take action to avoid this.”
The judge extended his bail and now he’s out there in the wild again. She will sentence him on October 13th. He could get up to 15 years in the clink, but that’s probably not going to happen. Some legal experts believe that he won’t get any jail time, which means he’ll only get a slap on the wrist and don’t worry, Oscar, I’m sure the judge won’t slap your trigger hand. Don’t wanna hurt that hand. Other legal experts say that he’ll probably get 7 to 10 years. But if South Africa is anything like the US, the chances of a rich celebrity going to jail for murder are about as slim as a magical fairy appearing before me to give me the magical ability to shit out dildos.
And now that South Africa has its very own OJ Simpson, it better double brace itself, because it’s only a matter of time before it gets its very own Kim Kardashian.
Pic: AP