The only thing more suspect than Tom Brady’s deflated balls is how he two-stepped over from pregnant ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan and got with Gisele Bundchen. Gisl has already blabbed in the past about how it was kind of messy (Tom and Bridget didn’t know she was pregnant when they split…but still) and even thought about dumping his ass. When Bridget named their kid John Edward Thomas (the same initials as New England Patriots rival the New York Jets), most people thought that was her saying exactly how she felt. Now, Bridget wrote an essay and seems to be kind of peachy with how things ended up. Dammit, what’s with all the happiness in this jaded world?!
People says Bridget contributed to Our Shoes, Our Selves, a book of essays by famous women and their most favorite pair of shoes. Unless the book includes the original Lilith Fair lineup writing a joint essay on Birkenstocks, this book isn’t worth shit! For what it’s worth, Bridget found solace in a pair of motorcycle boots – her “armor” – she spotted at Barney’s during the bad breakup, but she divulged more about being pregnant and being hounded by paparazzi since her baby daddy was now with the world’s most famous supermodel:
“Being pregnant and having a baby are such personal, intimate moments. I would have cars following me, and men hiding in the bushes outside my house. As a new mother, you want to just protect your child. That kind of attention felt like a threat.”
The motorcycle boots brought the New York out in her again and it rid herself of that stank-ass New England Patriot who won’t even eat a fucking strawberry. She’ll show him! She’ll name their kid after a rival football team and make sure he ALWAYS smells like strawberries when Tom comes to pick him up, right?! RIGHT?! OK, I’ll calm down. Actually, it sounds like she’s happy with her husband of three years, businessman Andrew Frankel:
“Tom and I made a decision to raise a child together and we both found partners that not only supported us in raising that child, but also loved our child as if he was their own.”
I imagine the “but J.E.T. likes our house more because we don’t make him do sunrise yoga and eat like normal people” is implied.