Open Post: Hosted By Chrissy Teigen Serving Up Punane-Baring Elegance

November 21, 2016 / Posted by:

As many women at last night’s American Music Awards struggled with their Spanx while trying to take a piss, Chrissy Teigen sashayed into a stall, effortlessly straddled the toilet and then pissed before letting her chocha air dry by sashaying on out of there.

The American Music Awards is usually nothing but a dreadful parade of tacky dresses from Windsor and Yandy, but last night, the red carpet was elevated to brand new levels of sophistication when John Legend showed up with his wife Chrissy Teigen who wore a graceful gown with a slit that practically went up to her armpit. Chrissy earned the title of Hot Slit of the Day by wearing a stunning dress that was obviously made by the Haus of Thirst. (It was actually made by a designer named Yousef Akbar.) Chrissy managed to outdo demure style swans, Giulia Salemi and Dayane Mello, by not wearing any chonies. Chrissy also waved away the use of twat tape, so when the front part of her dress (or whatever you call it) flew up, many people got the answer to the question, “Where did Chrissy Teigen spend her Sunday morning?” She obviously spent it at the crotch waxers.

One of Chrissy’s followers shook their head over her not wearing any underwear and asked, “What happened to being a lady?” Chrissy hit them back with this:

That Twitter follower who shook his head at Chrissy needs to do research before they accuse someone of not dressing like a lady! If they did, they’d discover that Chrissy wore an exact replica of the dress that Jackie Kennedy almost wore when she married JFK. That dress is the definition of LADY!

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

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