Lady Gaga Is Back!

September 9, 2016 / Posted by:

And as always, there’s two dudes saying everything you want to say with their faces…….

Lady Gaga queefed up her first solo single in three years last night, and when I first heard it, I had to double check to see if it was a cover. Because I could’ve sworn I heard it before during a montage scene in a straight-to-VHS movie about magicians from the late-80s. It also sounds like the opening theme song of a low-budget MacGyver knock-off that starred Greg Evigan and was canceled after 2 episodes.

Perfect Illusion was written and produced by Gaga, Mark Ronson, Kevin Parker of Tame Impala and BloodPop. (which yes, sounds like what a chick gets when she jacks off with a popsicle while on her period.) It sounds like so many things to me. I hear “a second-rate Stevie Nicks impersonator pinching her nose and doing a Count Chocula accent while singing a Hannah Montana B-side.” I also hear a touch of Kelly Osbourne’s cover of Papa Don’t Preach. (Here we go again!)

Some (the Little Monsters who’d worship it if it was nothing but a 3-minute loop of Gaga’s auto-tuned fart) love it and some hate it. It’s 80s-ish, so I don’t hate it. But I don’t luuuuuuuuuuuuh-aaaaahv it either. Okay, I hate it now, because it’s obviously stuck in my head.

And on a nice note (don’t get used to that), I do luuuuuuuh-aaaaaaav the “90s lot lizard wearing a crop top made by Reynolds Wrap” look that Lady Gaga worked in London today.


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