Open Post: Hosted By Ryan Gosling Talking About Tonguing A Hairy Belly

Here’s one for your fap books, sickos. Canada’s finest thespian and Eva Mendes‘s baby daddy, Ryan Gosling was on The Graham Norton Show this past week promoting The Nice Guys, a movie neither myself nor Michael K can make heads or tails of plot wise. I managed to pick up that it’s set in the 70s but that’s about it. While pushing that shit with his co-star Russell Crowe, amongst others, Graham, of course, brought up some story he’s heard about Ryan getting more than he bargained for during a Turkish massage. It’s not going where you think, but kind of.

Graham brings up the incident and Ryan looks a little pissed. Ryan goes on to explain that during a painful sounding massage his mouth got a surprise. No. Stop. It wasn’t that. He says the masseuse’s hairy gut found its way into his mouth while he was grimacing in pain. He blames his tongue doing some investigative work on what was happening on brain instinct:

The tongue goes in to figure it out. My tongue was like ‘what is that?’ It’s a hairy belly!

I know you guys are gonna keep that one locked away and safe for years to come. And I’m also sure some of you have replaced the masseuse with Russell Crowe because hairy belly is interchangeable with him. Please keep your fanfics and accompanying photoshop pictures to yourselves. This is a family website.