It turns out there’s one person who isn’t cursing out Sean Penn’s name today. While El Chapo is cursing out his name for accidentally leading Mexican police to his hidey-hole, and the editors at Rolling Stone are cursing him out for his War and Peace-length interview with El Chapo they had to edit, and everyone who read that Rolling Stone interview is cursing him out for the migraine they got after reading that mess, his first ex-wife Madonna was admitting that she still loves him.
Back in October, there were whispers that Cool Mom and Angry Dad were humping on each other again, but I didn’t want to believe it, because nobody is that dickmatized, right? Then we sort of got proof that something was up last night, when Sean showed up to a fundraising event for Haiti with his ex-wife and her kids. And then we knew something was really up when Madonna got on stage and said the L word a bunch of times.
— DrownedMadonna.com (@DrownedMadonna) January 10, 2016
It used to be that seeing the names “Sean Penn” and “Madonna” in the same sentence meant that the story about Sean Penn allegedly getting violent with Madonna at her house had popped up again, which is more than enough reason to want to take Madonna aside and ask “Really? Him? Again?“. But Madonna recently denied that ever happened.
Still, it’s insane to me to think that Madonna is actually willing to take an extended break from banging a regular rotation of nameless 20-year-old dancers. You know you are truly next-level dickmatized when you can look into the face of current-day Sean Penn and your coochie hollers “Clear your schedule and grab some lube – we’re gonna ride that wrinkled walnut ’till the wheels fall off!”
Here’s more of Madonna and Sean Penn and two of Madonna’s kids at Sean’s fundraiser for Haiti last night.