Johnny Depp Might Be Missing And His Marriage Is Still A Mess

April 20, 2015 / Posted by:

The pause button was pressed on shooting for the ten millionth Pirates of the Caribbean movie in Australia after Johnny Depp jacked up his hand and needed surgery in the US. Johnny was supposed to be back in Australia on Thursday and filming was supposed to start up again today, but when today rolled around, the crew members expected the musky scent of dick fromage, kitchen grease and tonsil stones to waft up into their nostrils and that didn’t happen. Because apparently, Johnny Depp was a no-show and he never got on a plane to Australia. A “production source” tells the Sydney Confidential that Johnny is still in the US and crew members are cursing his name because they were sent home without pay when he failed to show his face on set.

“Everyone’s hoping they have managed to get him on another flight. But he still hadn’t hopped on a plane on Friday morning, which means production will already be running behind when principal photography starts again. Even if he managed to fly out over the weekend, the delay has forced the directors to change their shot lists for the week. They’ve had to rearrange what they can and can’t shoot before filming starts again. It’s quite unprofessional of Johnny to leave everyone waiting and wondering what’s happening.”

But Johnny Depp’s spokeswhore has pulled down his panties and shit all over that story. Johnny’s rep says that he didn’t pull a Lindsay Lohan on the crew, because he isn’t scheduled to be shooting right now. The rep said that there’s no need to put Johnny’s face on a milk carton or issue an Amber Alert on his ass, because he’s still in the US recovering. Although, his rep wouldn’t say when he’s supposed to go back to Queensland.

Wherever Johnny Depp is, he isn’t with his wife of six seconds. Page Six says that for the past week, Amber has been attached to her best friend, photographer and LGBT activist Tillett Wright, in NYC. Some source said that Amber and Tillett “got cozy” (which is well on its way to becoming the new “canoodling” and I don’t like) at a Tiffany & Co party on Wednesday night. They were together again on Thursday night at the after-party for the Tribeca Film Festival premiere of The Adderall Diaries and again on Friday night at Amber’s birthday party. Tillett, who kind of gives me shades of Eddie Redmayne and Susan Powter’s love child, also Instagrammed this picture of Amber trying to eat her out:


Some source says that Johnny has always squinted at Amber’s friendship with Tillett. Amber and Johnny’s marriage is already in the gutter and apparently her relationship with Tillett has a lot do with that. Tillett used to live in Johnny’s guest house, but moved out, because he doesn’t like her.

“At one point Wright moved into Depp’s guest house. But a source said Depp “doesn’t like Io” and believed Heard and Wright “were spending too much time together for it to be comfortable.” Wright eventually moved out of Depp’s guest house.”

Well, if the rumors about Johnny Depp not returning Amber’s calls and avoiding her like she’s a bar of soap are true, then of course she’s going to be out getting “cozy” with her friends. What is she supposed to do? Wait by the phone for his call while gently sniffing the crusty neck sweat stain on one of his old scarves? Strangely enough, that’s exactly how Marilyn Manson spends most of his nights.

And here’s Amber and Pepaw Walken at the Tribeca Film Festival screening of When I Live My Life Over Again.


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