Open Post: Hosted By A Jacked-Up Nick Jonas

June 21, 2014 / Posted by:

While Kevin Jonas is busy playing a never-ending game of hide-and-don’t-seek with his dollar store Haylie Duff wife’s vagina and Joe Jonas is busy sucking at the grime under his fingernails in hopes he might discover a delectable morsel of the bad shit, Nick Jonas is still busy shoving handfuls of dry Muscle Milk powder directly into his mouth and making everyone at the gym uncomfortable while he screams “I’M A MAN NOW!” over and over again to the employee spotting his bench presses.

The Zac Hanson of the Jonas Brothers has been super-committed to his transition from “wholesome fresh-faced Disney twink” to “Dayum Daddy, you got a license for those guns?” ever since posting his first shirtless beefcake pic to Instagram last year, and it looks like he’s checked off the next box on his to-do list by shaving his head.

I’m sure Nick stares into the bathroom mirror (aka the Selfie Portrait Studio) and sees the reflection of a sessy Marine or a young Channing Tatum, but all I’m getting is “smug captain of the lacrosse team who may or may not have tried to murder his girlfriend” from a Law & Order: SVU episode about a dude who definitely tried to murder his girlfriend.

Pics: Fame Flynet

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