File Under DUH: Oprah Won’t Be Bringing “Lindsay” Back For A Second Season

April 16, 2014 / Posted by:

Let’s play a game! Without cheating, let’s see if you can guess why Oprah won’t be renewing Lindsay Lohan’s reality show Lindsay. Are you ready? Okay, GO! If you guessed any of the following: booze, drugs, being a fuck-up, being difficult, being a difficult fuck-up, being a difficult drunk fuck-up, you’d be WRONG, because it was a trick question! The answer is low ratings (the answer is always low ratings).

The series finale for Lindsay airs this Sunday, and it sounds like Blo may want to throw herself another booze-soaked viewing party, because The Daily Mail says that it might be her last. Oprah was planning on renewing Lindsay’s reality series if it turned out to be a success, but it wasn’t. The premiere episode only took in 700,000 viewers, which may seem like a lot, until you realize that old-ass re-runs of The Big Bang Theory get about 4 million viewer. 70,000 viewers puts Lindsay in the same category as informercials and the stock footage of parks they show on DOG-TV. Since Oprah doesn’t really give two freckled Lohan shits about the Apricot Ashtray’s road to recovery unless she’s getting paid, she’s cutting her losses and moving on to a better money maker (Iyanla: Fix My Life Pt.2 – Keep Fixin’!)

And it sounds like out-of-work Lindsay can’t fall back on sitcom guest appearances either. According to Radar, Lindsay’s appearance on 2 Broke Girls was their lowest-rated episode of the season, nearly 1 million viewers less than an average episode. And that says a lot, since people who watch 2 Broke Girls aren’t exactly discerning viewers to begin with (aww, JK 2 Broke Girls. Any show with Jennifer Coolidge can’t be half bad).

So there ends another full rotation on the Merry Go Round of Lindsay Lohan’s life: she fucks up, she bargains for another chance, she gets another chance, she fucks up, she bargains for another chance, etc etc until she runs out of chances on earth, and she finds herself a rocket and starts bargaining with aliens.

Here’s more of Lindsay in London on Monday. I really hope there’s a current resume in that backpack, because she’s going to need it.

Pics: Flame Flynet

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