Don’t Forget About LiLo!

July 3, 2013 / Posted by: Michael K

Lindsay Lohan tweeted (and then deleted) the Kirk Cameron’s birthday party of tweets yesterday when she waved her hand at HuffPo to remind them that it’s her birthday too. This is almost as sad as inviting everybody from your 2nd grade class to your birthday party and only the kid who wipes his nose shit on everybody shows up, takes half of the gift bags and doesn’t even bring you a present (yes, I’m typing from experience).

TMZ’s says that LiLo’s 27th birthday (dun dun DUN) went uphill from there and by uphill I mean downhill. LiLo asked the people in charge at the Cliffside rehab facility in Malibu if her friends could visit her on her special day yesterday and they denied her ass. LiLo then asked if she could go out to dinner with her friends if she got the OK from the DA. Bitch got denied. That left LiLo with one other option. Since lawyers can visit their clients in rehab anytime, LiLo’s long suffering lawyer Shawn Holley visited her.

So on LiLo’s 27th birthday, she blew out a single candle on an ice cream cake donated by Carvel while her lawyer sang Happy Birthday to her in the rehab dining room. Nice try, LiLo, but my 7th birthday (see description above) is still sadder than your 27th birthday. ….Actually, I take that shit back. LiLo didn’t blow out a candle on a Carvel ice cream. Whoever (aka White Oprah) said that Carvel donated an ice cream cake was obviously lying, because Cookie Puss and Fudgie the Whale want nothing to do with her ass ever since the legendary battle between Carvel and White Oprah went down. So she probably blew a candle on a single cake slice from Vons. Okay, she has me beat.

via Buzzfeed

Tags: Lindsay Lohan, The Jokes Write Themselves

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