Duchess Kate Went Back To Work Today
After suffering from the stage 4 pregnant barfs and frolicking in the ocean in Mustique, Duchess Kate stamped her time card and went back to work by visiting Hope House, an addiction recovery center, in London today. And by "work" I mean she waved at people, held flowers, smiled at a little girl and put on a serious face when she watched OTHER people do actual work (see: picture above). So basically, Duchess Kate is like Mr. Rogers, but I don't think she talks or sings and she doesn't look as hot in a cardigan as he did. But I'm pretty sure all of her best friends are animal puppets.
Millions of paps were outside of Hope House this morning, because they all wanted to get a hi-res, close-up shot of the most important thing in the entire world right now: the skin dome covering the 4-month-old fetus royale. Duchess Kate shook a few hands, held her bump, watched one of her subjects make food, listened to a few speeches and then she got back in her horse drawn carriage which took her to her crystal palace where she took a nap on a thousand down-filled satin pillows as her maids fanned her with feathers. Being a princess is hard.
And if you haven't already, spend some time with author Hilary Mantel's piece about the royal family and how they picked Duchess Kate to be their next princess because she's a Stepford robot who's perfect for breeding. The Daily Mail is freaking out about it and it's only a matter of time before THE QUEEN challenges Hilary to a shank fight behind Buckingham Palace. Here's a few slices from it it:
I chose Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, and I chose to give her a book published in 2006, by the cultural historian Caroline Weber; it’s called Queen of Fashion: What Marie Antoinette Wore to the Revolution. It’s not that I think we’re heading for a revolution. It’s rather that I saw Kate becoming a jointed doll on which certain rags are hung. In those days she was a shop-window mannequin, with no personality of her own, entirely defined by what she wore. These days she is a mother-to-be, and draped in another set of threadbare attributions. Once she gets over being sick, the press will find that she is radiant. They will find that this young woman’s life until now was nothing, her only point and purpose being to give birth.
Antoinette as a royal consort was a gliding, smiling disaster, much like Diana in another time and another country. But Kate Middleton, as she was, appeared to have been designed by a committee and built by craftsmen, with a perfect plastic smile and the spindles of her limbs hand-turned and gloss-varnished. When it was announced that Diana was to join the royal family, the Duke of Edinburgh is said to have given her his approval because she would ‘breed in some height’. Presumably Kate was designed to breed in some manners. She looks like a nicely brought up young lady, with ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ part of her vocabulary. But in her first official portrait by Paul Emsley, unveiled in January, her eyes are dead and she wears the strained smile of a woman who really wants to tell the painter to bugger off.....
Kate seems to have been selected for her role of princess because she was irreproachable: as painfully thin as anyone could wish, without quirks, without oddities, without the risk of the emergence of character. She appears precision-made, machine-made, so different from Diana whose human awkwardness and emotional incontinence showed in her every gesture.
"Designed by craftsmen, machine-made, a shop-window mannequin, no personality....." Who knew that the British Royal family and Scientology look for the exact same things when picking out a robot bride for their golden son?
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Submitted by Sarah Smile on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 3:48pm.
Lisbet - surely Kate has benefited from the lessons learned in the wake of Di's (ultimately) tragic engagement in "histrionics".
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I loathe this family but I liked Diana very much. They took advantage of a young, inexperienced girl and threw her away when they got their heir and spare. She had some fire to her and I'm glad she fought back. But unfortunately after the divorce, there was no way they would've allowed her to become more popular than the royal family.
As for Kate, she is oatmeal personified.
Given how "scandalous" young women in the media are trying to be, I really don't see the huge deal in Kate restraining herself and holding poise.
Submitted by princesspoppy on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 3:24pm.
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 3:10pm.
She looks very pretty at this weight IMO.
I hope the baby gets her nose.
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And teeth. And hair line
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Well, the nose and the teeth were store bought so I'm sure the Windsors can make that part happen.
Submitted by zsazsaitsme on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 9:00pm.
The passages quoted about Kate are from "Royal Bodies" by Mantel. I don't think she was actually being nasty about Kate, but, read the whole article. You might get a different take on what she really said, not just bits of it taken out of context.
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You're right: she's defending the monarchy (as you'd expect, given her research and writing interests) and asking us to show them--especially Kate--a little human respect.
I think Mantel's words are a tad too coarse for the Mail.
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 7:29pm.
Very cool. I never really knew much of any of this.
If this is what she wants, to be a robotic "yes-woman", then more power to her. It's disappointing sometimes, since it would be nice to see more women actually take the helm in these situations. However, it was her goal all along. At least she got what she wanted.
It makes you wonder why this girl waited so long to marry a prince. She basically gave up her 20's having to be all fake and pristine. What does she get out of it? A title and a quiet lonely life. So she shows the mean girls at high school that her and her Mum collectively pulled this off while said mean girls are out clubbing with their husbands and living life to the fullest or cheating about if they so choose, Kate ends up living in some fishing village while her husband is off constantly doing his own thing whatever it is with the military. She just seems like this isn't what she would have chosen. Wonder how her Mum talked her in to it. If they wanted noteriety she could have hooked up with a Branson or some pop star and at least had some fun. Or even Hugh Grant if she wanted to be with one who could read. It just baffles you, doesn't it.
Does not look comfortable. Are they making her do this?
How can you write about Hilary Mantel's speech and not mention the part about the pandas?? C'mon now. PANDAS. That was the best part.
The passages quoted about Kate are from "Royal Bodies" by Mantel. I don't think she was actually being nasty about Kate, but, read the whole article. You might get a different take on what she really said, not just bits of it taken out of context.
http://www.lrb.co.uk/v35/n04/hilary-mantel/royal-bodies
Blah. She's a dullard. Nothing unique or special about her.
So we're invalidating Hilary Mantel's words and opinion because she isn't stick thin like Duchess Kate? Some of y'all are way too old for this mean girl shit.
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Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 7:29pm.
SNIP
An interesting note is that Princess Eugenie and Princess Bea are very fond of Isabella. Princess Eugenie and Princess Bea (who are 2 of the Queen's favorite grandchildren and are very close to William and Harry) despise Kate Middleton and her family. They have been on the receiving end of Kate's wrath and games and have expressed their concerns to the Queen.
This is the major behind-the-scene reason why the Queen last year announced that Kate must bow in the presence of Princess Bea and Eugenie - which added more fuel to the acrimonious relations between them and left Kate seething in anger.
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Interesting!!
Submitted by LaChaylo on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 4:02pm.
These royals are boring and for the most part, gotdamn moochers. The Romanovs were some of the most fucked up, inteteresting royals. And the people did away with them. Now that's fascinating.
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You said it! I dated a member of the Romanov family years ago and he and his mom had some very interesting stories...
As for Kate, I think she's beautiful but not very interesting, which I imagine is infinitely preferable to scandal as far as the Queen and the rest of the Windsors are concerned.
William was aggressively pursued by Kate Middleton and her family. When Prince William and Kate broke up, he started dating Isabella Calthorpe, a beautiful blonde who resembles Princess Diana.
It's a well known fact that Prince William was madly in love with Isabella Calthorpe and they were quite serious for a while. However, Isabella wanted to purse her acting career and they broke things off, leaving William devastated.
That is when William went back to Kate - and the rest, as they say, is history.
An interesting note is that Princess Eugenie and Princess Bea are very fond of Isabella. Princess Eugenie and Princess Bea (who are 2 of the Queen's favorite grandchildren and are very close to William and Harry) despise Kate Middleton and her family. They have been on the receiving end of Kate's wrath and games and have expressed their concerns to the Queen.
This is the major behind-the-scene reason why the Queen last year announced that Kate must bow in the presence of Princess Bea and Eugenie - which added more fuel to the acrimonious relations between them and left Kate seething in anger.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Not really a follower of the royal set but she looks cute. Wonder if she'll keep wearing those heels for the sake of fashion for much longer. *shrugs*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Yes that's right. Keep your lady on the ho stroll William. Hard work.
;D
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It's Get Your Smarts On Day on the D. That article on the royals was fantastic.
"without quirks, without oddities, without the risk of the emergence of character"
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! And that goes for her boring sister, Pippa, too. B-O-R-I-N-G.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 5:18pm.
Submitted by the_hot_chick on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 4:27pm.
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I don't even think that - I think she looks stiff, awkward, and hunch-y. And her orange skin and tan pantyhose are tackayyyyyyyyyy.
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Agreed. But her fans/pr are always saying Kate's got "grace".
Considering how awkward she is, her poor posture, her poor public speaking skills (when she's allowed to speak), and how poorly she presents herself when not coached (look up pics of her out with William while they were dating, and she comes off no better than a Kardashian), I wonder what is meant by "grace" with respect to her.
I just started assuming they mean Kate looks nice in her designer clothes when on William's arm.
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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
WHo gives a shit. The royals have gotten boring, Ever since the Queen mother who was always tanked and Princess Margaret kicked the bucket not to mention when Fergie stopped sucking toes. I couldn't give a rats ass.
Not whoopsing her cookies anymore. That's good.
Wouldn't trade places for a billion dollars!
Submitted by the_hot_chick on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 4:27pm.
She's got "grace"?
What's that supposed to mean? That she looks nice in her clothes? That's the result of being model thin, and wearing high end fashions.
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I don't even think that - I think she looks stiff, awkward, and hunch-y. And her orange skin and tan pantyhose are tackayyyyyyyyyy.
But yea, I agree with everything you said.
@ the_hot_chick on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 4:27pm.
PREACH!!!!! ITA with all you said.
Also:
TEAM ASS OUT ON THE CANADIAN TARMAC
wow that book sounds like some really incoherent garbage. WTF they just randomly go from Marie Antoinette to Kate to Diana all within the same 3 sentence paragraph?
Didn't her mother basically send her to St. Andrews in the hopes that she and Prince William would hook up? This arrangement was created long ago. In any case, they look really happy and in love so who cares?
My issue is with their "work". If the Queen shows up at the opening of a new McDonalds I'm officially done with them.
I thought she was knocked-up? What baby bump? Gurlfriend needs to gain some weight - knocked-up or not.
What I hold against Kate Middleton is her pr, which isn't necessarily her fault (she doesn't strike me as someone who has a lot of say in what goes on behind the scenes, or in how she's presented).
The royal family's publicist has chosen to present Kate as a "role model" to young women; someone who is "admirable". This is probably to compliment William's king-in-training pr, but it is a problem for Kate.
She isn't a role model, and she isn't admirable. She's a young woman who latched onto a rich guy so that she could become his trophy wife. She spent a decade not working/being supported by her parents so that she could be available to William. Now that they're married, she spends all of her time being a fashionista and vacationing with William. At best, Kate is a real life Bella Swan. At worst, Kate is a role model to gold diggers, and women who, having watched one too many Disney Princess movies as children, cling desperately to princess fantasies and wish to live vicariously through Kate. Waity Katie is not, however, a role model to women in general.
I don't begrudge Willy his trophy wife, and I don't begrudge Kate the choice to be a trophy wife. But since it has been clear for years that Kate isn't anything more than glorified arm candy for William, the royal publicist really needs to stop trying to make her more than what she is.
I hate reading the contrived stories where they attempt to twist her two, brief part time jobs before marrying William into a self-sufficient career. (One of those brief, part time jobs was working for her own parents. She eventually quit so she could spend more time with William.) Kate seemingly has no hobbies, no friends (aside from her sister and mother), no interests, and nothing in her life except shopping and being with William. What am I supposed to admire?
She got married to a prince?
Getting married is a personal choice, not an accomplishment.
She's got "grace"?
What's that supposed to mean? That she looks nice in her clothes? That's the result of being model thin, and wearing high end fashions.
She has yet to "fuck up"?
I guess we're not counting her tits on display on an open balcony, or her ass out on the Canadian tarmac. But even if we don't count those things, what are we crediting her for, exactly? What does not "fuck up" mean? She didn't pose for Playboy? She didn't write a tell all book about the man she's still married to? She hasn't repeated the exact, act for act mistakes of other royals? And isn't the bar a little low? Are we supposed to admire Waity because she's FAILED to do bad things (yet), as opposed to admiring her FOR DOING great things?
And it never occurs to her handlers that the world pays so much attention to the superficial aspects of Kate Middleton (like her clothes), because there is nothing else about her worthy of comment. Or maybe they do realize this, but want the public's adoration, and respect for her anyway. Well, no cigar. As long as Kate is arm candy, I'm willing to let her be that, without prejudice. But I resent being asked to admire her, or see her as a role model, because she isn't.
If she wants to be a role model, then she should act in a way that makes her worthy of the title. If she just wants to walk around in the latest fashions, and vacation with William, then she isn't a role model. This really isn't rocket science.
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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
Hilarious! Go Hilary Mantel! Anyone who can turn über user slime-ball Cromwell into slightly sentimental beneath human waste Cromwell is royalty in my book. Good for her. Fear not that bunch of parasites! (And why is Sticks walking and holding her belly? Sheesh~)
Americans get mad when elected officials waste our money, I can only imagine how frustrated the Brits must be, especially with useless royals who have no real power or purpose.
...Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 6:11pm
"Pooping for me, is oddly relaxing. Like you just shit a little bit of your worries and cares away. Throwing up just feels like you're heaving up bits of your soul."...
Well, at least she's getting some boobs outta the bargain... put a little curve in that stick figure of hers...
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j
"I'm doin ho activities, with ho energy. Ho's are my friends, ho's are my enemies."
These royals are boring and for the most part, gotdamn moochers. The Romanovs were some of the most fucked up, inteteresting royals. And the people did away with them. Now that's fascinating.
I love, love, love Hilary Mantel and the guts she has to stir the pot of royal sludge per the media. It doesn't matter what she looks like btw because she is a brilliant writer.
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I hope someday Kate breaks-out of the mold and gets photographed sucking some toes like Fergie did.
Isn't Kim K obsessed with her?
I wonder if it kills her that Kate is managing to NOT turn into the next Godzilla while Kim is cleaning out all of California's Sprinkles cupcakes, Millions of Milkshakes and In n' Outs.
Lisbet - surely Kate has benefited from the lessons learned in the wake of Di's (ultimately) tragic engagement in "histrionics".
Sarah Smile
Well... Hilary Mantel is right.
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What separates us from animals is that we don't use our tongues to clean our own genitals.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 3:44pm.
Middleton chose her life. She performs her duties admirably - which you have to admit, even if you hate the concept of monarchy.
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Actually, the problem most people seem to have with her is that she does VERY LITTLE. You can Google her royal engagements and see how little she has done in the past year if you don't believe that. Compare it to the other royals and enough with the, "Oh, she had HG!"I do not believe she actually had that. I work with a woman who has it-due the same time Kate is-and if she had this, there is no way she would have been on a vacay.
Not far. A robot probably has a lot more personality.
BTW, Mandel's comments were totally taken out of context. She was discussing how THE MEDIA portrays Kate.
Sam Leith is writing in defense of Mantel. The basic gist is that we're all too stooooopid to understand what she was trying to say:
"Tabloid papers – actually, all papers if we're honest – deal in templates and received ideas: in pretty princesses, snooty highbrow authors, smirking fiends and tragic tots. It's in the nature of that trade, though, that you can't write about the templates and received ideas themselves. That is a level of reflexiveness, a level of self-scrutiny, too far.
"Mantel was attacking the paper doll in which newspapers have imprisoned the real Kate Middleton. That can't be acknowledged without admitting the idea that there's a gap between this paper doll and the real person – that the Kate of your own front page is a brutal and sentimental fiction maintained for ease and profit."
http://tinyurl.com/arjnmj3
What-the-fuck-ever happened to the concept of a private life? Yes, there is a difference between the Duchess of Cambridge, and her public role and persona, and Kate Middleton, the private woman. That's the whole point. The fact that there is a difference between her public and private lives (to the point where we don't know what she's like in her private life) should be lauded, not concern trolled.
Middleton chose her life. She performs her duties admirably - which you have to admit, even if you hate the concept of monarchy. She's not "imprisoned"; she's simply performing an old fashioned role. I'm so sick of all these people who'd rather she engaged in Diana like histrionics. I like the stiff upper lip.
Both Mantel and Leith are snotty fucking cunts.
Submitted by skinny fat on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 3:03pm.
Submitted by Jeanneee on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 2:43pm.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 2:40pm.
Well SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE what Hilary Mantel looks like:
http://www.independent.co.uk/incoming/article8213923.ece/ALTERNATES/w460...
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Looks a bit like she was created by JK Rowling, doesn't she?
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She looks like a Roald Dahl illustration!!
I'd never heard of her, but she's dead-on re: Printheth Kate.
It sounds like Hilary Mantel knows her shit.
@valorious: You owe me a drink.
lol... "work"
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Lucifer_Sam: "Do you EVER post anything worthwhile on this site? Do you EVER have a point to make?" In case anyone else was wondering, the answer is "No."
I think Mantel's piece has been misunderstood, but I'm biased because I think she's absolutely brilliant.
And not that it matters, but Hilary Mantel has had major health problems that made her gain weight and created changes in her appearance. She talks about her health a lot in interviews, so her focus on the body in this piece isn't surprising.
Sarah Smile
Holy shit! No wonder I'm impressed by her phraseology. She has won the Booker Prize twice!!!!
"Emotional incontinence"...that's gonna be my new catchphrase.
I can't wait to use "emotional incontinence" in conversation.
Too bad Morrissey is gay. I think we have found the perfect Mrs. Morrissey.
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 3:10pm.
She looks very pretty at this weight IMO.
I hope the baby gets her nose.
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And teeth. And hair line.
Ouch.
She looks very pretty at this weight IMO.
I hope the baby gets her nose.